HufflepuffHolland's Writing Collection

Love Yourself (Part 4) // Tom Holland

Pairings: Tom Holland + Reader (Y/N)

Description: Reader is fed up with Tom not expressing any feelings toward her, so she makes a move (with Ivy's persistence).

Warnings: THIS IS THE LAST PART! Send me requests for something else! Hope you liked this mini series. :)

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"It's been three months, Ivy! Tom and I have been 'hanging out' for three freaking months!" She sighed heavily before shrugging her shoulders. I puffed my cheeks up for four seconds before letting all the air out. Tom and I have been together any time we can fit for the past three months. We would spend his breaks together at the coffee shop, he would come and "shop" at the grocery store I worked at. He would drag me to his favorite bookstores and recommend me his absolute favorites and I would drag him into my favorite antique shops and we'd walk out with a matching set of anything.

"Why don't you just ask him out?"

"Because he obviously doesn't want to go out with me. He wants to be friends. I'm such an idiot. I let myself like someone enough to hurt me knowing they don't feel the same way."

"But you don't know that! You're psyching yourself out." Before I could say anything back, Ivy's phone went off. We both sighed as she answered it. The conversation was short but I hadn't listened to any of it. Instead I let my mind wander to three days ago when Tom took me up to the observatory. He said it gave him peace of mind knowing there was a place to go just to look at the stars. He said it was his sanctuary and he never felt comfortable bringing people who he knew wouldn't appreciate it.

"I knew you'd appreciate it, though. Someone who resembles a form of art so expertly must love art itself, right?"

I smiled then and I'm smiling now just thinking about him thinking I'm as beautiful as art. How funny, isn't it? Something that seemed so repetitive to you can now sound like a beautiful sonnet.

"That was Claire. She needs me to pick up someone's shift at the store." I sighed before letting my head hang. "Go talk to Tom, I know it's almost his break. You usually leave around this time, anyway. You need to clear this up, if not for him then for yourself. I'll see you in a couple of hours." She side hugged me and then grabbed her person on her way to the door. She reached for the doorknob but then turned to face me again, "If it's any consolation, I love you. Good luck!" I smiled at her as she left with a small wave.

It was now or never.

-

"Hey, (Y/N)," Tom smiled at me from behind the counter. I smiled and gave him a small wave. "I'll be at our table in about two minutes, okay? Want something?" I shook my head and walked toward the table, ignoring his concern look toward my lack of words.

I looked out the window. The whole drive over here I rehearsed what I was going to say. I completely blanked out when I saw him smile at me. He was so innocent, so pure. I wanted to just consume him with every emotion I felt and hope he'd want to leave himself open to me. The past three months have been everything that I never had with Jeff in six years. He supported me when I needed him to get over Jeff, he encouraged me to get back into writing and he had just always been available to me whenever I needed to talk to someone at four in the morning. He had just been so easy to love.

"Alright, what's up with you?" I was snapped back into reality as he sat down. "Why are you so quiet?"

"I – No, I'm just – God, Tom." I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I needed to tell him, but every fear I had of being rejected came flooding in. I couldn't go through this again, I couldn't fathom the fact that I wasn't good enough for Tom, too.

"(Y/N)," he took my hand from across the table, "you can tell me anything, love."

"Tom, I just... I'm afraid."

He looked taken aback by this. His eyebrows pulled in together as his grip on my hands tightened. "Afraid of what?"

"Afraid of how you'll react. Afraid you may not want to talk to me," my voice grew lower as reality started to be clearer, "afraid I won't be enough for you." My voice had lulled to a dull whisper now.

"Afraid you'll – what?" I looked up to see the shock written in his face. His hands released mine and it took every fiber in me not to reach out to grasp them again and beg him not to let them go. "Are you really that oblivious?" It was my turn to wear his confused expression. "We never agree on anything do we?" I shrugged.

"What are you talking about?"

"For god sakes," he rubbed his eyes toughly before continuing. "We can never agree on a movie, a TV show, we can never agree on where to eat lunch. You hate the color blue and I hate the way vanilla smells. You don't like anything green in your food while I can't stand eating only fruit at least once a day. We don't have anything in common!"

My head hung at this. This was it. This was him ridiculing me for thinking we could ever be anything other than friends. I love everything he despises and vice-versa. God, I wish I could just –

"But, God, please," he continued, his hands returning to mine. "Love yourself so we have something in common."

My head shot up to look at him, my eyes wide, "What?"

"I love you. I want you to love all of you the way that I do. I hate vanilla but I would bathe in it just to see you relax in its smell, I'd rid everything of blue and decorate my life in lilac just to see you happy in its presence."

"Tom, I –," I didn't know what to say. So, I leaned over the table beckoning him with my finger to which he smiled lightly and leaned in as well. "Tom," my voice was at a whisper.

"What is it?" His hand came up to caress my cheek, his face inching closer.

"I would wash away all my insecurities if it meant you were to love me a lifetime. God, I love you."

"(Y/N)?"

"Yes?"

"Can I get that kiss now?"

I responded by finally pressing my lips against his. His top lip tapped between both of mine as his hand still held my cheek.

This is what it means to love yourself: providing yourself with the love you know you deserve.