Everything I didn't say☆L.H

1. Different

- Nirvana's p.o.v -

*Flashback*
"Luke!" I yell. He turns around and looks straight at me. Wait his eyes look pained. "I love you." I say. He nods and turns back around and walked to the gate. "Always and forever."

I walk to my room and lay down. I look over to my wall full of polaroids. 1 year and 7 months gone to shit. I officially hate Luke Hemmings for what he's done to me. If what we had was real, how could you be fine? I begin to remove the pictures and put them in the night stand but I stop my movements. I pick up a small blue box. I open it to find a beautiful diamond ring. Was he planning to propose to me? I looked at the ring and began to cry again. I took it out of the box and placed it on my finger. I threw myself on my bed and cried harder and said "I guess it was just an English love affair."

*End of flashback*
Kurt Cobain once said "Nobody dies a virgin, life fucks us all". I totally agree with that. Life didn't necessarily become the worst thing but love did. It became the worst thing the first year of my break up. Luke was the reason I could never reach out to anybody. He hurt me so bad that I believed life wasn't gonna get any better and that it officially fucked me up.
It's been 2 years since I've seen the boys. They always come back into town but I don't dare try looking for them. I don't want to be faced with Luke Hemmings. He used to be the love of my life. My everything, you can imagine how painful it was for me. The first few months I couldn't sleep or eat. I would just cry over and over. Marley was only there to comfort me the first month. After that she left on tour with the other girls to be with the boys. I still see them when they come into town. I just tell them not to bring the boys. Marley and I are still best friends. We tell each other everything as if we were still right next to each other. I remember telling her the day I found the proposal ring in my night stand. I couldn't process anything at that moment. I put it in a box along with everything that Luke left behind or he ever gave me. A green day and a blink-182 shirt, his green flannel, the 300 polaroids I took with the boys or of them, the polaroids of Luke, the ones of him and I. The guitar necklace he bought me as a gift for my birthday. His sunglasses, notes, or letters from high school, his guitar picks that he left all around the house. And of course the proposal ring that he left which he never proposed to me with. I remember cleaning out everywhere and it hurting me to look, every time I would clean or move something, I would get flashbacks, memories, or find something of his. Like at my parents house, their house, my car, my apartment, the club, school, social media, my body, my tattoo. He was there when I got it done, everything. I unfollowed and disadded the boys from all my social media. To this day, I still get nice comments from his fans saying positive things to me. If anything, I see more hate to Aleisha than to myself. There was even an article in the j-14 magazine about Luke and Aleisha once. I was mentioned in it. They put and I quote " New love with old love? Luke Hemmings, 5 seconds of summer's sexy lead singer/guitarist was seen with his middle school sweetheart out on a date in Los Angeles at the 'nice guy' restaurant. Is ex girlfriend Nirvana Harris okay with it?" I had a head ache when I saw that article. Sometimes I have paparazzi following me and yelling out stupid things. The first 2 months were hell. Every time I would go visit my parents I would look at the house next door and walk inside. I still have my house key to that house and everything is still in place. I haven't been inside the house in months. The last time I went inside the house was to collect everything I left inside Luke's room. Luke made love to me for the first time in his room. It still had his beautiful smell in it. They have their personal cleaners to clean the house and make sure it doesn't collect dust while they're away.

But now, I can go visit my parents whenever I want with balls. I'm not the same Nirvana anymore. Luke breaking my heart only made me become stronger than ever. I can't remember the last time I thought of him. I'm 22 years old now, I'am now currently dating Christian Collins. We've been dating for 7 months now. He's a youtuber and a public figure. You all know him as Weeklychris. I now work for All things twist. When the boys left I was left with a lot of money due to when they used to drug deal. That's what I used to live off of. But it wasn't always enough. While I was in college, I was taking a photography class and a journalism class. I earned my degree and profession with that. So I got a job doing the Sydney Australia review section in the newspaper. Soon All things twist took notice of my work and wanted me to work for them. They were so amazed the first week when I did an article with Selena Gomez. So then they promoted me to become co-editor in chief, photographer, and journalist. I write the articles and sections on my client, take the pictures of them, and edit it on my own. Usually they have other people for that. I'm a pretty big name in the business. I make $3 million a year. I still live in my cute little apartment. You're probably wondering why, well just because I make a lot of money doesn't mean I have to get a better place. Besides Chris lives next door. He makes a lot of money too. But we decided to live next door to each other so we won't drive back and fourth to see each other. All things twist is top 4 in the magazine company. Anyways enough about me. Let's get to the interesting part. I haven't seen the boys in 2 years. They're coming to town this week, I usually stay away from them every time. I always say I'm ready to see them but end up hiding from them. But what's gonna make this time so different?