27. Sounds live, Feels live

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- Luke's P.O.V -

We've been getting called non stop into the studio, meetings, and interviews about our upcoming tour. It's all fucking tiring. I continue to mourn about Nirvana. We just finished a meeting with John and some of the label members about all our tour dates and stuff. I'm really not in the mood to be dealing with all this shit and frankly I don't a give a fuck right now. I want to kind of give a shit but everything that's been happening is just fucked up for me. Its physically and mentally stupid. I sound so harsh but you get my point. I sound and look like that one member from every band that goes to rehab for some stupid shit. Not to mention that Nirvana and I haven't been talking to each other. She's with us today to take pictures and stuff. "Can we leave now?" I whine. "Luke quit bitching like a 7 year old." Calum says. "Fine. Can we fucking leave now?!" I sass back. "You said to quit bitching like a 7 year old , I'm bitching like my age now." Calum rolls his eyes and walks away. I can tell everybody is tired of my shit but I am tired of their's too. "We're leaving." Ashton tells me. "Finally." I pray. We get into Ashton's car, while Ana went with Calum and Ruby.

When we get to the house I run straight upstairs to my room for a joint. "No no, you are not gonna smoke weed in the house again." 

Ashton takes the joint from my lips before I had a chance to fire it up. "What the fuck, I'm going outside then." I take it back. "No, stop smoking Luke! You're not supposed to be smoking!" Ashton grabbed it again and ripped it. "Hey man what's your problem?!" I yell. "Nah what the fuck is yours?! You haven't smoked since we got our record deal. There's no reason you should be doing it again!" Ashton is really pissing me off. I mean the guys have a point but they have no right to be doing that. "Well maybe I fucking changed!" I say. "So you changing includes smoking cigarettes, weed, and staying out late at night?!" Michael asks. "Yeah. You guys don't even know what's going on with me so why don't you stay the fuck out of it!" I push past Michael. I hear him walk behind me and turn me around to face everybody. "We do know what's going on but your not letting us help you." He speaks. "We're always here dude, we're your best friends. I don't understand why you need to be doing all that stuff to get rid of your stress." Calum tells me.


"Well obviously I'm not gonna talk about it with her here." I say rather rudely. "I can take a hint asshole." Nirvana says getting her keys and bag. "We'll be back guys." Marley speaks kissing Michael on the cheek. I felt bad for being such a dick to Nirvana but she was being a bitch too. I mean she's basically the reason I'm being such a dip shit.

"Now that the girls are gone, why don't you tell us why you've been acting like a damn drug addict. Don't think we haven't seen all the bottles of alcohol , cigarette buds, and joints in your room. You're room looks and smells like how it did when we were drug dealers, maybe even worse." Ashton states. "I know i-it's just t-that..." I sigh. Geezus Luke quit being a pussy and just tell them. "It's about Nirvana." I run my fingers through my hair. "Yeah we know. It's pretty obvious but why mourn about her? You didn't give a shit the moment you cheated on her and went on tour or when we came back." Calum asks. As much as it hurt to hear, it sank in that we wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't did what I did. "Well as you all heard the other day, she had sex with another guy. You guys don't know how much that broke me. Call me whipped cause I know I am but the fact that she didn't even say she felt bad about doing it with someone else knowing I still love her is pretty painful." A tear is threatening to spill out. "Luke, we know how much you love her but you have to understand that you cheated on her and she can't forgive you easily. We can tell that she still loves you too, she just won't admit it. She doesn't want to either, she's afraid to get hurt again. Her having sex with another guy was probably her way of trying to forget about you guys. It didn't work as you can tell." Michael explains. "Yeah, besides her sleeping with someone else also confirms that she still loves you too. It hurts her too." Calum finishes. Everything is starting to make sense to me I guess. I still can't help but say "I know but for me, I need to hear from her that she still loves me." "She may not say it but she feels it. Until the moment comes that she'll tell you that she loves you still, just chill. Give her some time." Ashton speaks. "I get you guys. I'll try I guess. I can't rush it." I sniffle slightly. "Exactly. Just like when you both started dating, you had to give her some time to say yes. She came around." Michael chuckles. I chuckle as well. "Alright alright. I'll give it time and I'll stop smoking and drinking." I raise my right hand in defense. "Not unless its with us dick head." Calum punches my arm. "I got you fam." I wink.

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- Nirvana's p.o.v -
Us girls were at my place just eating a pizza and talking. "What's going on with him? He's been acting so different since that day. He's been acting like when we were in high school." Marley takes a pepperoni off her pizza and tosses it in her mouth. "I don't even know. If I knew me having sex with someone else was going to affect him that bad maybe I shouldn't have done it at all. It just makes me feel hella fucking guilty." I sigh. "What were you thinking just walking into the house yelling that out anyways?" Bryana asks. " Well Marley the dumb ass over here told me that nobody was home and that it was just her there." I nudge her arm. "Ay well excuse me but it's not my fault I texted you that before and then the group wanted to go out to eat. My phone died so I couldn't tell you nevermind." She laughs. We laugh too. "Plus I didn't know Luke was gonna get home before." She eats her pizza. "Well it's too late for that now. Luke is pissed at me and I actually feel like shit. Before I wouldn't have cared but now I do. In that moment and even before having sex with Dylan I had a bad feeling. Like almost as if I was cheating on Luke." I take another slice from the box. "But you guys aren't even together." Ruby says. "I know, that's what I mean." I tell her.

"Sweetie can I be completely honest with you?" Bryana holds my hand in hers. "You guys are scaring me but sure why not." I respond. "We've been talking about this since forever. You still care and love Luke. You're in love with Luke still, as much as it hurts you to admit it, you do. That's the real reason you broke up with Christian." She finishes.
"Yes. Believe us, Luke is the exact same way. On tour him and Aleisha, he never treated her like he treated you, they never had what you guys did. It was all just sex. In fact he told me that he "accidentally" had sex with some groupie on tour . Why you may ask? Well because he didn't love Aleisha, ever." Marley tells me.

"That may be but he still cheated on me. Plus you guys don't know if I still love him or not." I roll my eyes. "Whatever, we're just saying. As soon as you figure out what you want, you should tell him. All of us are tired of him doing things he shouldn't be, all for you." Ruby speaks.

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