Everything I didn't say☆L.H

16. Lithium

- Nirvana's p.o.v -

I know right now that in my heart, I don't love Chris the way I thought I did. Or at least till I realized that I only fell in love with him because he looks like Luke. Everybody was right, the boys, Marley, and the girls. Even my parents said he looks like Luke, so did Crawford, he mentioned it the day we went to the club. The only one who didn't realize it was me. Not until it was too late, we're already too deep into the relationship. Remember when I said I had a feeling that something bad was going to happen between us, well this is probably it. I hate myself saying this but its the truth. I'm only seeing Luke in Chris.

I was at work putting my my folders and laptop in my bag getting ready to go home. I was driving home while listening to Black hole sun by Soundgarden. I got home in 10 minutes. When I walked into my apartment, I dreaded sending this text.

To Baby❤️😍: Hey can you come to my apartment please?
From Baby ❤️😍: Yeah, I'll be there in 5 minutes.

I had enough time to control myself. I was not physically and mentally prepared for this shit. I sound like the day I found out I would have to work with Luke. I teared a little. Suddenly Chris came through the door. "Hey babe -... what's wrong?" He walked up to me and grabbed my hand. I feel so guilty holding his hand. "Hi um, we need to talk." Is all I say. "Ok." He responds. What I'm about to say next is going to make me cry even more. "I don't think- we um- we uh... shit!" I can't even talk from so much juttering. "Just say it Nirvana." He gets impatient. " I think we need to break up." I breathe it out. I close my eyes so I won't see his face. After about 5 seconds of no noise, I decide to open my eyes. His face is plain. no expression, just pale and white. "Say something." I speak. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it. "Please Chris, I at least need to know what you think." A few more tears start dripping down. "I-I think its probably for the best." He says leaving me breathless. How could he say that? "Christian your supposed to fight for me!" I yell. "Well that's what I'm fighting for. I think we need to break up. Luke is still obviously in love with you and it's pretty obvious that you still love him back." He replies. I'm lost for words. What was he saying ?! Luke doesn't love me anymore. I d-don't love him anymore. "But Chris, I don't love Luke." I cry. "Yes you do. What else is your reason for breaking up with me? I could see it from the begging, you fell for me instantly because I looked like Luke. You can't tell me I'm wrong." He finishes. I feel so ashamed right now. I basically used him because I was craving love, lust, and care from Luke.

"Sure, it's gonna take a while to get over you but I rather let my heart break then to see the person I love dating the wrong person she's not even in love with for the wrong reasons." He says softly and a tears slips from his eye. "I love you Nirvana Harris." He whispers and walks up to me pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. "I'm always here for you, as friends though." He stalks over to the door. I stand there in place but I soon ask " if you knew I supposedly loved Luke still, why did you stay with me?" He puts his hand on the door nob. "Because I thought I would be able to fix you but it turns out you fixed yourself the day Luke came back." He says and opens the door and walks out closing the door on his way out. What the fuck just happened? Did I really just break up with Christian? But I'm feeling nothing right now. I'm not even crying anymore.

What is wrong with me? But that's not what's funny. I don't want to see Luke tomorrow so I'll just tell him to come over so we could work on his page for the magazine rather than tomorrow. I know I'm going to need the day off tomorrow.

To Luke: I need you to come over right now so I could work on the magazine with you.
From Luke: Okay, I'll be there in a little.
From me: Alright.
From Luke: On my way.

Notes

Hiiillllooo peoples :) Well it's officially over between Nirvana & Chris. It sort of tore my heart writing this chapter but unfortunately it had to end in order for Luke to get back in game. 

        Amber XX ;*