Hello, My Name is Crazy.

The Meaning of Pain.

My heart is pounding and my stomach is turning and I can feel my eyes welling up with hot tears. Dallas is flipping out loudly beside me but I can't even hear him. Everything is silent except for the sound of my laboured breathing. I can hear my heart beating in my ears and it's like a drum. Tears spill over the edges of my eyes and drift down my cheeks. Big sweaty hands are holding me down from behind and two more of them are pushing my legs apart in front. I try to talk but I can't. I try to beg but I can hardly breath. A sharp pain shoots through me as something is shoved against my rectum. It doesn't go in right away. It doesn't fit. But that doesn't stop him from painfully prying my thighs further apart until he could shove himself into me at full force. It knocked the air out of my lungs and I couldn't do anything but close my eyes. Why is this happening to me?

"Don't get too much blood on the mattress. Wipe it up."

I can hear the 'boss' man say and a cloth hits me. Someone starts wiping around my ass and I open my eyes. I'm being raped. A guy is smiling at me as he holds my legs apart and pile driving his dick into my ass. It hurts. I'm scared and it hurts. Someone else is wiping down my tailbone. He stands up and walks away with the rag. It's red. Blood red. A sick feeling comes over me but I know if I start to puke, I'll chock because I'm being held down. I start to struggle. I kick my feet and try to get my hands free, but it's no use. I can't do it. They're twice my damn size. Dallas is nothing but a blur beside me now. His echoed screaming has become a buzz that I can barely recognize. I wonder what time it is. I wonder if Darry got home and found out I wasn't there. I wonder if Soda's back too. I wonder if they checked the neighbours house and realized I wasn't there. Are they looking for me? Or do they think I'll come home? Do they think I'm okay? Soda should know I'm not... He should know I would never be home late if I said I would be back before Darry got off work. He should know I wouldn't chance it. He should know. But does he? And will Darry come looking for me at all? Does he even care? Will they come find me...? The pain turns up a notch and somehow I find myself sobbing and clutching my eyes closed again. My teeth are pressed hard against eachother and grinding from the force of each thrust. My head is throbbing with a head ache and my mouth feels so dry I think I could die of dehydration. Finally he stops. I can feel blood and what I think is cum, dripping from between my legs. He pulls out of me and slaps my thigh with a chuckle. As he backs away, I let out a series of sighs in relief. But it's a short lived one.

"Next."

I hear a voice faintly say even though I'm sure it was a loud command. My ears are ringing. I open my eyes and another man is coming towards me. It happens again. More pain. But no matter how much pain there is, it's all the exact same type of pain. I scream and I cry and I struggle but it's no use and I get no where but stuck with the same pain. Bite marks have soon covered my once pale soft skin and hand prints are left all over me from the crashing of slaps on my body. It goes on for a million years it seems before it stops. Another wet rag is thrown at my face and this time the tall man who I'm assuming is in charge glares down at me. Hes big and had scars on his face and short jet black hair and pale blue eyes that remind me of Dallas but his hold no life.

"Quit your crying and wipe yourself off. Don't be such a bitch. You start working tomorrow, 4 am sharp."

I feel stiff and I'm shaking like crazy. I pull the rag and start to wipe from my neck down, cleaning away the blood and spit and cum and sweat that I'm coated in. I wipe it all off. It gets hard the lower I go. The lower I clean, the more painful. The lower, the more blood. The lower, the more I shake. When it's done, I set the rag aside and most of the men have walked into another room. We're left along this wall chained and on blood spilled mattresses. I look at Dallas. Hes pale and shaking but he stares at me without any tears and looks concerned.

"Ponyboy...are you okay? Pony? Answer me... I've been talking to you for ten minutes now.. Are you okay?"

He sounds desperate for an answer. I try to open my mouth but it hurts. I can still taste the disgusting tongues of the freaks who forced them into my mouth. I can still feel it all. More tears fall and I can't seem to talk. I watch him and he stares at me. The other two boys have their backs to us and look like they've been here a while.

"I...I don't...I don't know..."

I manage to speak but it comes out in a terrible shaking whisper. More tears. More shaking. I cover my face with my hands and I cry. My body aches. Everything hurts. Are my brothers worried? Are they looking for me? Even if they are... Will they ever find me? The questions don't stop coming to me faster and harsher each time. They spin around my head and they mix with the sound of Dallas worried voice. I had my first kiss today. I still remember waking up in his bed and feeling the hot sensation against my lips. I remember how good it felt. That feeling has been long stripped away and now I can do nothing but cry. My hair is a mess and it's fallen into my eyes and covered my face and I'm quivering. My lips are so dry from all of my panting that they've started to crack and bleed. I feel like puking but I don't know what they'll do to me if I do. I lay down on the cold mattress. I close my eyes.

This has to be some sick dream.