Hello, My Name is Crazy.

Pick Me Up.

It's cold. Freezing cold. We're standing out on the streets now that the shop keeper left and went home and I'm shaking. I'm shaking so bad I can't remember if I'm scared or cold and I'm not sure I care. Dallas has us standing in an alleyway so that no one can see us. He told Darry the address of the deli and Darry said he'd come but it would take a few hours. Apparently we're way out of town. Somewhere in Florida. Naples I think. I keep crying randomly. One second I'm standing without an inch of emotion and the next I feel like a bombs been dropped down on me and my chest is about to explode. I find it hard to breath and my eyes start to sting and suddenly I'm left in a heap of tears again. The sobs are loud and my hoodlum friend doesn't know what to do. I don't even know what to do. I went from getting my first kiss to being raped of my dignity, my virginity, and my self worth. I don't even know what day it is or how long we've been gone but it feels like a few weeks to me. Dallas keeps watch while I cry and sit with my thoughts behind him. He stands within range of the lamp light on the street and I can vaguely make out his facial features. Hes really stressed out. I don't know him well enough to read his thoughts but I can tell he's freaking out a little on the inside. Everytime I burst out crying he just stares at me and rubs his neck apologizing and mumbling under his breath. I'm cold and shaking and I'm wearing a girls jogging suit and it's damp. I don't know how long we've been waiting but I know Darry won't be here for hours. Dallas has barely spoken to me. I can't tell if he feels guilty or if he is scared to say too much or if he hates me. I can't think of a logical reason why he'd hate me but I just feel like he does. I guess I'm overthinking. It's not hard to overanalyze a situation when you feel as shitty as I do. Finally Dallas walks back towards me and he kneels down at my side.

"I'm sorry."

"For what..?"

"For this happening to you."

For a minute I couldn't speak. My throat closed up and my eyes started to fill with tears. I looked at him and then I had to look away. I slouched forward and hugged my knees up to my chest.

"It's not your fault."

"It is..."

"It's not. I came to your house."

"And it was my fault that they were there."

"Why were they there?"

He looks at me and then sighs really loudly before looking away again. I can feel the air change and he gets uncomfortable. His gaze falls back on me and he has a serious look in his eyes.

"The same guy who's car I keyed, the guys who shot me knew I didn't die, so he sent those guys to come get me instead. He wants me to suffer. And because of that, you got caught in the crossfire."

"It's not you fault...you couldn't have known they were coming and you couldn't have known I was gonna come back..."

He scrunched up his nose and huffs before standing up stubbornly. He walks towards the road and starts watching the traffic again. I'm still shivering. My body feels like numb jelly. My heart hurts. I feel disgusted. I feel worthless. I feel broken. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. Some time passes and I fall asleep, curled in a ball behind Dallas. I don't know how long I was out for, but when I wake up, I'm in someone's arms. I open my eyes and Soda's squeezing me to his chest and looks as white as a ghost.

"Pony..."

His voice shakes a little and my heart drops into my stomach and my throat twists and my eyes feel like knives drove into them. I start to cry. I start to ball. He puts me in the backseat next to him and Dallas sits in the front with Darry. Darry starts to grill Dallas and Dallas doesn't hide anything. He tells Darry what he did and why those people came and kidnapped us. He tells Darry I was just coming over to hang out, I wasn't getting into any trouble. He tells Darry about how they drove with us in a trunk all the way out here. He tells him how they chained us to the floor. He tells my brother how they we're going to sell us off to people. How they raped us. How they raped me. How they did it more than once and more than one person and how they hurt me. He told him how we got away. He told him everything. Sodapop's jaw was hanging open and Darry was stunned silent. Tears rolled down and off my cheeks and I shook like crazy. I couldn't stop hyperventilating and Soda was in shock. Dallas was quiet, deathly quiet. The rest of the drive back was like driving to a funeral. Cold and mournful.

"You can stay with us tonight." 

I caught the last few words Darry spoke to Dallas and my head perked up a little. We'd been driving almost six hours now. Darry was telling Dallas he didn't have to go back to his house, in case someone was there or might show up. Darry's a hard ass but he's smart. Another hour goes by before we get to town. When we pull up our street, morning has just hit. The sun is coming up and birds are chirping. I'm still frozen. Me and Dallas are covered in blood and bruises. We're pale. We're shaky. Soda helps me out of the car and Dal comes inside with us. He comes up to our room and Soda looks nervous.

"I'll leave you two alone for a bit. You should change..."

Soda turns and leaves us. He goes downstairs to Darry. I'm sure their cursing my name... I turn to look at Dallas and he looks beat. My eyes have bags under them and instead of doing as Soda said, I take my clothes off. I get naked. Im timid and embarrassed and insecure and I change as fast as I can into pyjamas. I throw a pair of Soda's at Dallas and I get into bed.

"Put those on...let's go to sleep...I want to sleep..."