BADIDUNG

Marxia - "Changes"

Kinabukasan pakatapos ng prom namin ay nagbago bigla si Nowlard. Hindi na siya yung dating dependable na beki kong kaibigan. Hindi na siya yung dati kong iniiyakan sa tuwing naiitsapwera ako ng crush kong si Jorge dahil kay Ninian. At higit sa lahat, hindi na siya ang anywhere-anytime buddy ko.

We still had two classes together, but beyond what we needed to say, we barely spoke the last couple weeks of school. I could tell our teachers were relieved that things were finally quiet: no giggling and no fighting. But I was miserable.

Hindi rin kami gaanong nag-usap sa araw ng graduation. Pakatapos ng ceremony, lumapit sakin sina Jelai at Chancer para iinvite ako na magcelebrate.

Bilib din ako sa power of love ng dalawang to. Di na nabiyak simula nung maliwanagan sila sa nararamdaman nila para sa isa't -isa at tuluyan na ngang maging sila. Samantalang ako, patatas pa rin.

Mas naging close na ko sa kanila at di na ko masyadong palalabas sa gimikan mula nung magkaron kami ng misunderstanding ni bekibes.

Napansin ko na nasa likod namin siya nung imbitahin ako ng couple pero wala akong balak na isali siya sa trip namin. I ignored him.

Kung kailan naman kasi kailangang kailangan ko siya, saka siya nawala sakin. Hindi na rin kasi ako kinakausap ni Jorge simula nung prom. As in pinutol niya talaga lahat ng means of communication namin. Tapos nalaman ko na lang na nagpaplano na na magpa-Singapore sila ni Ninian para dun mag-aral ng college. Ugh, finally they're together. Pano naman ako?

I spent the night with the ChanLai couple and Mike, who was unexpectedly there, kasi akala ko, he's working things out with Czai. We ended up giggling about the day and talking excitedly about the summer ahead and our college plans.

When Nowlard called me though, I automatically answered. "Si Ninian to," the voice on the other end said. My face burned hot at the thought of them hanging out together without me. "Bakit mo inignore si Nowlard pakatapos ng graduation?" she demanded.

I was confused and hurt. Bakit si Ninian tong tumatawag at hindi si Nowlard? Did he really care so little about me that he didn't even feel the need to do his own fighting?

"I will end you," pagbabanta ni Ninian. Narinig kong tumatawa si Nowlard sa background.

My chest ached and I felt like I was going to cry and scream at the same time. "Kung gusto kong kausapin ni bakla, alam niya naman ang number ko," I said before hanging up. But he never called.