BADIDUNG

Nowlard - "Heyrlalu"

I know how it feels to be in love. You don't fall in love because someone has sexy legs. It is a feeling you can't explain.

I tried so hard to feel that with a woman. I know how to detect a beautiful woman. I had lots of girl "crushes." Or, at least, I told my friends that because I knew who the beautiful girls were.

I was obsessed with a girl I found to be different from other girls who push themselves to any other guy they want. She's a love-phobic, Ninian. Oh, she will be my partner in life. But I just couldn't feel what my other guy friends were feeling.

I was about to tell Ninian about it with all of my honesty and absent of any ill thoughts because I just would want to clear my name from the misconception to our friends and her cluelessness that I once desired her, even if the truth is I just thought I did but in reality though, it was not the case.

But talking to Ninian was difficult especially when the dudes who has hots for her surrounds her always like Uchiha Sasuke's eyes' tomoes. Kahit nga sa after-party ng prom sinubukan ko siyang kausapin pero bantay sarado talaga. It's even a wonder why she's the most sought for when she's so different from the other girls, more like strange but maybe that feature is her asset.

It wasn't until I started hanging out with Marxia that I felt the magic of love. I became close to her and we are always together.

Once I realized I liked Marxia as more than just a friend, I spent nearly every moment trying to figure out if she might have felt the same way about me. It always seemed like there was more between us than just regular BFFs. I had feelings for her on a level that didn't align with what I felt for Ninian, or any of our common friends, and I wondered if she felt the same. After all, we were so close.

And then that "almost confession" moment which just randomly sprang out from our talk about boobs happened. Nung una sinasakyan ko lang ang pang-aalaska niya sakin tungkol kay Ninian pero nung sinabi ko na be mine eh seryoso ako dun. Pero ang gulo kung bakit bigla kaming lumayo sa isa't-isa pagkatapos nun.

I spent the rest of our school days studying about gay falling in love with a girl, men etiquettes and men studies para naman di ako mapahiya sakaling magkausap na ulit kami at maopen na ulit namin ang naging usapan namin nung gabing yun.

Nagkita kami sa araw ng graduation.

Nakatoga na siya pagdating niya, gulo-gulo pa ang buhok niya. Pero para sakin, flawless siya. I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she was.

Suddenly I knew I had to tell her. She was my best friend. Best friends don't keep secrets from each other.

I grabbed her hand and lead her into the next room and offered to fix her hair which she allowed.

I heard the words spill out of my mouth in a rush. "I love you, Xia. And not just like friends. And I know you probably hate me now, but I had to tell you because you mean more to me than anything."

She grabbed her hand out of mine. "Nowi, hindi mo alam ang sina-" Hindi ko siya pinatuloy sa sasabihin niya bagkos ay pinatunayan ko sa pamamaraan ng halik na alam ko ang ginagawa ko.

"Is your decision final?"

She sighed. "Well, ok, let's give it a try." Pinagkukurot ko siya sa tagiliran at humagikhik siya. Oh God, heaven ang tawa niya na ngayon ko lang ulit narinig at ako pa ang dahilan. "Aray! Bakla ka talaga!" Reklamo niya ng napasobra ang kurot ko kaya hinaplos ko na lang pambawi.