Darkness Within

a/n

So back to complaining, my parents keep telling me to do my hygiene and come out of my room, so today I came out of my room and drew, I was out for 1 hour doing something I wanted to do. My sister was on the TV for 4 hours.
I was expected to play with him(my younger brother) yet i only came out here because my parents said I spend to much in my room. Is it to much to ask for a small break? I babysit him every single night, no break is it so bad to ask that I get a fricken break during the day?
And then I was sent to my room(a lame punishment) because I was useless. Oh by the way I was a mistake.... So I'm treated worse then my siblings.
So my step mom comes home,go help her(the groceries because she can't bring them in herself) I come back in and start to groom my hair and eyebrows.
"What are you doing?"
"Pulling out loose hair and making them even."
"Can you do that where your brother isn't watching?"
So I move to my room and turn on my Crystal light. They get mad at me.
Am I just a failure?
I wanted a nice shirt, can't have it. 'I want boys to look at me.'
I've been sexually assaulted why would I want boys to look at me?
I'm sorry, my life isn't great right now.
(The stuff I'm complaining about on here is the nice stuff....I wouldn't dare complain about the bad stuff....)
Also I don't eat enough, so I eat more. You eat to much!!!!
I'm not aloud to see my friends(one of which is home schooled. It's been two fucking months and she's fucking sucidal!!!!) I'm getting very annoyed and thinking of running away again. But unlike last time I will be prepared.
Fuck.
Do you have theese issues to?  I know I'm not the only one.
Maybe I should move to my mom's...
Oh forgot to mention....my dad shot my dog.
And now I get a fish.
Is a fish a dog?
Also I'm not aloud to have the collar back(which I bought with my own money) so basically they stole from me to.
I just love my family.
I should just move to my mom's, then I could update everyday and not be expected to be a fucking babysitter.

Oh also to make things worse my best friend just told me she loves me.... Like fuck dude! What the actual fuck?  Like fuck! She said she knew since Christmas and told me through email.... Fuck! I also have a rapist after me to.... Like can my life get any more fucked up? To answer my question....
Yes. Yes it can.... Fuck. I'm sorry... I'm such a bitch.
Now I'm spending to much time with my friends and when they were younger they didn't spend as much time at their friends.... Yeah well I'm not you and your not your parents are you?
They litterly keep me around for babysitting and working. I'm tempted to run again, but I'm only in grade 9. Not alot going for me.
I hate my family. I sometimes just lay awake at night wishing I was dead, killed, kidnaped and killed or never born.
Im sorry you don't need to know this. Just forget I said anything.  Just forget... About my issues. Focus on your own or your friends. None of you know me and I don't really have friends on this. I have none😞, but I don't need any. They end up stabbing you in the back anyway.
Yeah your probably getting suck of my problems... 😑 So I'll try to stop...
I love ya all! Be strong! Stay safe.
Good news... My friend and I worked it out! Yay!!!! So at least that's not fucked up anymore!!!
Onto chapters 21 to 41!!!! Hopefully.
♥♥