2. A Love, a Father, and a Legacy (Peter Parker)

Chapter 7

I laid on my bed in the dark counting my breaths. Around one hundred and thirty-three my door opened. I didn't roll over; I knew it was Peter. Instead, I tightened further into myself, knowing I wouldn't be able to look at him. I heard him shut the door and try to quietly walk over to my bed. He crawled in next to me, sitting up and playing with my hair.

I felt tears start to slowly slide down my face but I didn't bother to wipe them. I just laid there, feeling numb, disgusted with myself.

"How can you even look at me?" I sat up and turned toward him, not daring to meet his eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"How can you look at me after what I just did? I beat that poor innocent-"

Peter cut me off. "He wasn't innocent."

"Does it matter?" I finally looked at him, but the second I did I jumped off of my bed.

"He was threatening to kill you."

"But I nearly killed him! We're supposed to be the good guys!"

"We are the good guys!" Peter stood up now and stepped toward me. I stared at our feet still refusing to look at him.

"How do you know that?" My voice cracked and I felt like my silent tears were going to wracking sobs again..

"Look at me." I shook my head. "Look at me." Peter stepped closer until I could feel his breath on my head. He lifted my head up slowly, forcing me to meet his eyes. "You know how I know? Because of how much you're hurting. You're a wreck! The bad guys don't go home and suffer over all the people they've hurt!"

I didn't try to avert my eyes anymore. I just looked into his deep, concerned eyes. I could see the pain I was putting him through while I was struggling. It was clear in his eyes, just like it had been in Tony's.

"All I do is hurt people."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is! I'm hurting you right now! I hurt the robber, I hurt Tony, I hurt Steve, and most of all, I'm hurting you! You're in pain watching me like this. I hurt everyone." Tears brewed in Peter's eyes and I looked away, not wanting to watch him cry because of me. I'm so tired of feeling like this.

"You don't hurt everyone Sam."

"But you admit, I'm hurting you?" I sat down at my desk and looked at a picture of me and Peter from a couple months ago. I had convinced him to come down to Long Island with me to visit Sarah in her parents summer home and we had the best day ever. We went swimming and played volleyball. We had a water balloon fight and then roasted marshmallows when the sunset. It was the first day I hadn't thought about what happened with Will since it occurred. I think that was the day I realized I loved Peter.

"That's not what I said."

"But it's true." I picked up the picture and looked at it again. It was right after we had gotten out of the water. Our hair was wet and sticky with the salt. I was smiling at the camera but Peter, not knowing I was taking a picture, was smiling at me. Having someone, having him, the way he looked at me, it felt so perfect I had almost not believed it.

Peter didn't respond. Instead I heard him walk up to my chair and I felt him place his hands on the back of it.

"I can't keep hurting you." I put the picture back on the desk so the image was facing down.

"Sam..."

"Peter I can't! Just please, leave." I looked up at him, my eyes dried up with tears. I was too tired to cry anymore.

"No." He backed up and crossed his arms. "I'm not leaving."

"Fine, I'll leave." I headed for the door but a web that I hadn't noticed before, covered it.

"Well that was supposed to keep people out, not keep you in." Peter shrugged and laid down on my bed, his arms still crossed.

"Peter, I can't keep hurting you like this. It just hurts me more." I walked over to my desk, covered in countless drawings and sketches, opened the left-hand drawer and pulled out a bottle of the web dissolver.

"Sam, wait! Please don't leave." He jumped off of the bed.

I hesitated. I didn't want to leave him; I desperately wanted to curl up in his arms. I wanted to breathe in his sweet scent and feel his strong arms holding me. I wanted to feel his lips pressed against my head; I wanted his presence to make me feel loved and protected. He knew it too.

He started walking toward me and I knew that as soon as he hugged me I wouldn't be able to stop him.

He stopped right before touching me. "I don't want you to leave, but I know you think that it's going to stop you from hurting me. I'll let you go and I won't say anything. I'll stop coming to the tower, I'll avoid you at school if you want me too. But I want you to remember one thing before you decide to walk through that door. I love you and losing you would be the worst thing that I would ever have to go through."

He paused, choking back tears. "I'll do it though, if it will make you happy. I'll act like I'm fine and try to move on even though I won't be able to. Just remember that I love you more than I'll ever love anyone else. And even if seeing you struggling hurts me, seeing you smile makes me the happiest person in this entire universe. I love you and I won't ever stop."

I listened to his words, knowing it all was true. Knowing it was true because I felt the same way. I wouldn't ever be able to move on either. And leaving him would be the thing that would hurt him more than everything else.

I let out a breath. "I'm sorry."

Author's Note

So if you guys weren't at least somewhat sad while reading this there must be something wrong with you because I had to take a break while writing this it upset me so much. Although, there is just the chance that I don't actually write down everything that is going through my head so my writing might just be bad. Either way, I hope you somewhat enjoyed this. Please vote and comment!