BTS Jungkook x reader

Chapter34: family comfort.

Jungkook's POV..

I followed namjoon out of the room wondering what he wanted to talk about privately with me.

I kept listing all the possible reasons i could think of.

One of them being, namjoon knowing about how I'm feeling while I don't.

How I've been feeling these days, I can't tell if I'm just really tired or really bored and in need of routine changes.

It's probably neither of those, but I'm trying to avoid thinking too much about things that prevent me from getting things done.

I'm not alone, where i could just mess up and face the consequences on my own.

I'm one with my members, whenever one messes up it effects everyone.

I can't do that to them just because I'm confused about my own thoughts and feelings.

This happened a few times before, not just to me.

I think it's normal, I'll deal with it on my own and everything will be fine afterwards.

"So What's up?" Namjoon said seriously after he closed the door and stood against it.

"Nothing." I replied casually even though i know he won't leave it at that.

"Are you okay?" He said with concern evident in his voice and features.

I actually thought about the answer this time..

Am i fine?

If not, i really don't know what could be the reason to that.

I can't seem to focus, I don't even have the energy to try to.

"You know you can tell me anything." Namjoon said encouraging me to answer truthfully.

"I don't know." I replied with the most accurate answer I could think of.

"Jungkook, you need a proper break, go home to your parents, i know you haven't seen them the last time." He suggested as he smiled warmly at me.

"It's okay, i don't think i need a break, really." I tried convincing him.

"Then how about you go home early, I'll call the manager to take you." He said not leaving room for any more discussion as he took his phone out of his pocket.

_____________________

I ended up in the manager's car going back to the dorm a little earlier.

The members, mainly Namjoon insisted i go home a couple of hours before them.

It's now 9:46, although I didn't like being in the dorm without any of the guys, but I'm too tired and in desperate need for sleep to think of that.

I walked into my room as soon as I entered the dorm, I decided to change into something a little more comfortable.

But I couldn't find my favorite, most comfortable, oversized hoodie i own anywhere.

I looked for it everywhere when I noticed it wasn't the first one on top of the pile of clothes in my closet like it usually is.

Just as i was about to give up, I thought of when was the last time i saw it.

Only then, I realized that it's the one i gave y/n to wear this morning.

I sighed heavily as i laid on my bed, totally forgetting about changing my clothes.

I got into a comfortable position and closed my eyes, ready for sleep to completely take over me... but it didn't.

I rolled over to the other side of the bed, then i put my two pillows over each other, i was so tired I wouldn't mind sleeping on a brick.

But even though I'm in the comfort and coziness of my bed and soft pillows, I couldn't, and it's so frustrating.

After a while of tossing and turning, I couldn't help but think of possible reasons as to why my brain just refuses to shut down and let me sleep.

But now that I'm doing so, I realized that my head was full of thoughts all along, they keep coming and going without stopping.

Until I decided that it was useless trying to rest even though i know I can't for some unknown reason.

I got out of bed and stomped out of my room towards the kitchen, hoping that hunger was the thing preventing me from sleeping.

It could just be my stomach since I haven't had dinner.

I walked into the kitchen tiredly, barely feeling my feet on the cold wooden floor.

The light of the refrigerator was to bright for my tired half-open eyes so i had to adjust to it.

I looked in the cabinets and the refrigerator for something i could eat.

I found a snack and went back to my room and changed into one of my many plain white shirts.

Then took a seat on my desk chair and turned on some music and sang along as i ate.

I decided to go live on V app since it's still not that late here and I haven't done one alone in a while.

So I turned it on right after I finished eating, i wore my glasses so i look a little more awake.

I greeted the viewers with a smile as the comments and hearts kept increasing so as the viewers.

I like seeing comments asking about how I've been and what I'm doing.

They just make me genuinely happy and let every thought that occupied my mind to just fade into the background.

I talked about random things since i really had nothing to talk about.

I really like doing this, i feel closer to the family, our fans, no matter where they are watching me from.

It reminds me of how many people are with me and got my back in case i fall, including my members, I'm so thankful.

I felt really content and fulfilled as i talked to them and they respond back casually like the close family we are.

During that, i heard the members come into the dorm and go into their rooms.

Then jimin and taehyung came into my room, I'm guessing because they heard me talking and laughing.

It was bedtime for most of us so they actually came to tell me to be quiet but then ended up staying when they saw that i was on vlive.

When it was time to end the stream, a lot of them didn't want it to be over so I promised to do another one another day.

Sleeping was easier and much more comfortable after that.

Although I couldn't stop myself from grabbing my phone and scrolling through my messages to find the one where i sent y/n the picture i took of her that day when i took her out to make up for her lost vacation.

I spent over 10 minutes contemplating whether to send her a message or not.

Then i spent another 20 minutes or so looking over each and every word i wrote and trying to figure out which emojis would fit if I decided to put any.

I ended up accidentally memorizing it because of how many times i read it before and after i sent it.

I really appreciated how it didn't take long at all for her to open it after i sent it.

Then I unconsciously slept before even seeing her reply, in case she'd reply at all.

To be continued..

Thanks for reading❤️
I'm so thankful for all the votes and comments i really appreciate it.
I'm sorry I can't update more.

I'll have a two weeks break in a few weeks, I'll try to update more then.

Have a great day/night🌸

I love you🤗