Bowers' Girl

Part 14: Mistakes

A/N: Hey, so this chapter is mostly about Henry, and is really angsty.

I sat on my bed crying and staring at the picture I had in my wallet of Maverick and I kissing.

I stared at it, and noticed some stuff. Her sweater sleeve was slid down and it looked like there were fresh cuts. She must've cut a while ago before this picture. My heart stung with pain at the thought of it.

I looked closer and saw that she had a light hint of blush on her cheeks, and her shirt rose a bit because of the angle that she held the camera. And I looked at her bare side that was showing, and it looked bruised.

My head was full of questions. Why were there new cuts on her arm? Why was she bruising on her side?

I thought back to the other day, when she confronted me of the day before. And how hurt and betrayed she looked. How much I hurt her, how much damage I really did.

Patrick looked as hurt as her. But Why? Belch was beyond furious. And he has a right to be. I hurt his sister, knowing damn well how damaged she already was. Vic looked disappointed. "You don't deserve Maverick" those words rang through my mind.

I want so badly just to cuddle her and tell her how sorry I am and how things are going to be ok. But will they really?

Would she take me back? I really don't know. And it hurts knowing that it could be the end of us.

I was still crying but got up and punched holes in the walls. *BANG* "I don't deserve her!" *BANG* "I'll never be truly happy!" *BANG* "Why bother living and trying!" *BANG* "I don't deserve anything." *BANG* I looked down at my bloody knuckles. Then at the wall, and started crying again.

I was in so much pain Emotionally, Mentally, and obviously physically.  I just want the pain to stop. I sat with my back against the wall and slid down. I screamed until my throat hurt and started sobbing.

After a while I got up and walked out the door. Knuckles dripping with blood, tears threatening to fall. I was a mess.

I walked and walked and walked. I shut down and was on autopilot, unaware of my surroundings. And then I came up in front of the Huggins' place. I made my way to the door and knocked.

I checked my watch and it read 8:53 pm, and then heard the click of the lock unlocking and I looked up to see Maverick wide eyed with tears in her eyes. She looked at my face, then down to my right hand. She covered her mouth with her hand, and she was crying.

She pulled me into a hug then ushered me to the bathroom. She had her sleeves pulled up to her elbows and I looked her forearms and tears streamed down my face when I saw she had fresh cuts. She noticed that I saw them and pulled her sleeves back down. "What happened to your hand Henry?" She said softly with pain laced in her voice, and worry in her eyes. "I got in a fight against my wall, and we both lost." My voice was hoarse and scratchy since I screamed a lot earlier. She shot me a sad look and grabbed her first aid kit. "This might sting a little." She took a cotton pad with Peroxide on it and cleaned off the blood. I hissed through clenched teeth, and she made a sad noise.

She wrapped up my hand in bandages and gave me a worried look, "Why did you do this to yourself?" I frowned, then grabbed her left arm and pulled her sleeve up. Then grabbed her right arm and did the same, I put both of her hands in my left hand. Had her arms facing upwards and pointed at all the cuts, some newer, some older, and scars. "Why do you do this to yourself?" She sighed "Because I'm broken, I have been my whole life. First the yelling and screaming, the rape, the bullying, and now... having my heart stomped on by the person who loved me." She looked away with tears streaming down her face and pulled her sleeves back down. "But, I'm fine... I am fine."

"Maverick, I know you aren't fine. I know you aren't" She backed away, "How do you know?" Her voice full of anger and sarcasm. "Because I know you, you say you're fine. But you aren't, and you just bottle up your emotions. I see right through your visage." She looked me in the eyes, her eyes were dark and cloudy and dull, but with a shine all over because she was crying.

Her eyes used to glisten with happiness, a nice grey colour, with a dark grey ring framing them. Little light grey accents all around them. Once like a calm lake, now a stormy sea. "Well you caused some of this!" She pointed at her arms, and cried. I winced in pain and my head fell into my hands.

"You may be broken, but at least you aren't shattered like me!" I started crying again. "My dad's been abusing me since I was little. I've been in the hospital many times because of that man! He's tried to kill me at least 4 times! He almost killed me on Sunday, but I ended it all! I killed him! He cut me, and beat me, and scarred me! He turned me in to a cold shell of a boy I once was. Deep down, is a scared little boy crying for his mom." I dropped down to my knees, and sat on the floor crying. Hugging my knees to my chest, gut wrenching sobbing.

Maverick got down and pulled me into the tightest hug. I buried my head in her shoulder and continued to cry. She was crying as well. She was telling me that I was safe, and how she was sorry. "W-why are you s-sorry?" She was rubbing my back, "I never realized how bad the damage was from your dad." She stopped crying and started to calm down. Me on the other hand, my throat stung, my voice scratchy and deeper, my eyes were a bit puffy, and my face was flushed.

"I guess I'm great at hiding my emotions." She chuckled lightly. "Maverick, I'm really fucking sorry for everything. I just switched off, and started shutting down. I was in so much pain, I didn't care what damage my actions made." She pulled me in closer
and sighed. "I forgive you, I understand what happened. I felt the same way after I was r-ra... after it happened. I know what it's like to shut down." We stayed like that for a while, and then she spoke. "But we need to start over as friends again. I still need time, if that's ok." I nodded, "It's more than ok. If you need time, then time is what you'll get. I'm just happy I have you back."

I pulled away and got up. I lent her a hand and helped her up. She smiled at me, but I noticed something on her neck. A hickey... my heart stung, knowing someone gave her that. "Alright Mav, I should get back home." She gave me a confused look "It's like 9:30 at night. Are you sure?" I nodded and gave her a small smile, even though I wanted to cry. "I'm sure. Besides I over stayed my welcome. I don't think your new boyfriend will be pleased if he found out I was here. I'll see you around or whatever." I spat out the last part. I walked out before she could say anything.

I head out the front door and ran down the street away from that hell hole. Tears streaming down my face. 'She has a hickey. She didn't have that yesterday.' That was the only thing going through my mind.

I got home, slammed the door and went to my room and cried myself to sleep.

A/N: Holy Shit, my heart broke writing this. I hope you enjoyed this heart breaking chapter.