Life is a gift

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Life is a gift.
A gift I do not deserve.
A gift I hope to not be given.
A gift I am not worthy of.
A gift that pains me.
Day after day I fake a smile.
I don't want you to worry.
I don't want them to worry.
Why do I get this gift.
This gift is killing me.
It keeps the thoughts alive.
It keeps the negitivity active.
Why do I have this gift.
Oh God why must i pain.
I can't be happy no matter what I do.
The new people I met make good conversations, good debates good jokes and hood thoughts.
Yet in here still angered on what has happened.
I don't like this feeling.
I don't want this gift.
I shall shut my emotions off.
I done it before.
I hated it.
But i hate this feeling the most.
Oh Lord! Why do i pain so much.
I will shut them down so i don't pain for the cut.
I will feel blank from now on.
The gift of life brought me to this corner.
I have no other choice.
I'm sorry

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