Read If You Want To

bleeding

I'm bleeding.
My arms and wrist are clear of cuts.
My leg has experience the feeling of cuts.
My heart has experience death.
My head is a constant chamber where I am tortured.
I hope for someone to love me.
I still can't get over the fact we aren't together.
The fact you broke promises.
I hate my life.
I always have!
I wish I wasn't bleeding these emotions here. I wish I was bleeding from my chest, neck, and head.
I fantasize about a knife in my chest.
I fantasize about my neck being cut open.
I fantasize about being able to put a bullet in my head.
Hopefully once I'm dead
These thoughts are gone.
I fantasize and wonder would anyone miss me if I had lead go through my head.
If I had steel in my chest.
If I had an opening in my throat that previously wasn't there.
I wonder would anyone miss me.
I sure feel like no one won't.
I'm easily forgettable.
I'm left out from a lot of stuff.
I feel useless and felt useless more than half my life.
I pray to the Lord to take all of these negative thoughts and feelings out of my head.
I pray and pray and get prayed for but yet I'm here wanting death more than ever.
I don't know how to feel better I don't know what to do.
My life is simple yet my thoughts make it so complicated.
I haven't ended my life cause I'm scared of what Will happen after death cause I know there's a God and I fear hearing the words "depart from me. I never knew you" but yet this fear also makes it hard to make all these feelings I feel to leave...
Oh Lord please stop this feeling I feel.
I am in love constantly thinking about her. Constantly thinking about death which I believe I love so much...
Please Lord God stop me from feeling that.
Please stop my bleeding