Read If You Want To

Why Care

The fuck?
I thought I wasn't part of your life
I felt ignored, replaceable, dead.
You come back saying sorry?
The fuck why do you care.
I sound rude cause I need to vent badly.
Why do you care how I feel after you left me broken, after you broke promises, after you broke my heart.
I am angry I had my mind killing me and flooding me with thoughts.
Someone kill me I can no longer take this pain. What am I to you? I can't take breathing anymore I want to die.
"Kill me someone please"
That thought is in my head all day.
Don't you dare act like you care for me.

This is an explanation of why I feel the way I feel.
Rose I care and love you I still pray God for you but I am not trying or even bother myself anymore I only want to do what God tells me to
Months of isolation and not talking cause someone doesn't want you to.
It shows me you really never cared.
I ask God to take this pain from me but he never does.
Is God even real though?
I want to my self to death now.
Please don't come back like you care.
I hate all of myself now and you come back like if I am trying?
No this is self hatred.
Everything and all I know seems like a lie to me.
Did anyone ever love me?
You better not think I tried at all.
I don't feel worthy to be loved again.
Everything emotion I ever had I gave it all to you.
All the love I gave I wish I could have it back.
I didn't give you shit just to be treated like this.
I am angry cause of all I am now isn't because of you but cause the sadness I got after you left.
Tbh I don't give a shit you left anymore I just hate the way you treated me afterwards.
Treated me like a stranger.
Why should you care about me after all this time.

Sorry for what I wrote it is angry and well this helped me calmed down at work from breaking down crying from anxiety, stress, and depression