Figuring it Out (A Rickian Story)

Things Change on the Bus

Ricky's POV

We are cruising down the interstate like rock stars. The O2L bus is the sweetest vehicle I have ever been on and our pictures are on it. I film a vlog tour of the bus so everyone can see it. We have a front seating area with tables, bunks for all of us plus Trevor's family and a lounge area in the back. Getting used to sleeping on the bus is a stretch. The engine and road hum are ok but it bounces and is kind of like sleeping on a plane, which I don't do well. And I need my beauty rest. Cranky and tired Ricky is no fun for anyone. I sleep under Connor and across from Kian. I wonder if my restlessness bugs them. Probably not, we are all to busy at night listening to Trevor snore.

We are two shows in and its been great. The crowds have been large and awesome and I love meeting so many fans, especially the ones that are older than twelve year old girls. My singing performances have been ok. I am trying hard to get better. I think about my need for more vocal practice and sigh. Maybe I'll get Trevor to work with me later. My next performance needs to be great; we are headed to Birmingham, Alabama, my hometown. I can't wait to see family and friends and hang out at Shelby's. I get an extra night of sleep in a non-bus bed as I am leaving the tour for a day and flying to the next stop after.

I smile and look around the bus. I am finished editing for now. Everyone one is getting along so well so far. My brothers. Connor is editing. Trevor and Blake are listening to music on his laptop, probably XIAT edits. Trevor's mom is reading a magazine in the front. JC and Sam are playing some sort of on-line game with Sam cursing periodically. Only Kian isn't here. He's been hanging out in the lounge in the back of the bus by himself. He's been there about an hour and I think I know why.

I stretch and announce, "I think I am going to check on Kian," I pause. "By myself..."

Connor nods but no-one else really responds. They are too engrossed in whatever they are doing.

I walk to the back of the bus an press the button to open the lounge door, which hums as it glides into the wall. Kian is sitting one one side of the lounge staring into space. His phone is on the couch next to him. I press the button to close the door and sit down opposite Kian. I lean over and lightly touch his knee to focus his attention. He looks at me with sad but relieved eyes, staring deep in thought.

"So its done huh..." I say quietly and sympathetically, with all my focus on Kian's face.

"Yeah, all over but the crying." He responds with a little smile and then looks away.

"How do you feel? Do you want us to stop the bus so we can throw or smash a few things?" I really say this in jest because Kian really only does that when he is hyper and nervous, not when he is sad or pensive. This is the endearing, emotional side of Kian that the fans only get to see occasionally. Deep down I think Kian may be the most sensitive of the group. My quip about throwing things earns another smile.

"You know, I'm strangely ok Rick. As we talked about, a lot of good can come of this. I can be totally focused on you guys, the tour, the fans and make it about them. I love living in the moment and not worrying about long-term stuff. The tension doesn't have to be in the background. When we go out, I can be your wing man with no worries."

That last part got me to smile briefly. I don't think Kian would want to be my wingman to find a guy. I've been thinking about telling him about being Bi while on the tour but put that thought away when he started talking about breaking-up with Andrea. They were all but done when we left. People grow apart and being away from each other for weeks was not going to help. This was just the final confirmation.

"I still blame myself you know. I blabbed about the meet and greet." I said.

"I told you that it's not your fault. You helped me realize a problem. You and I are still waaay good." I believed Kian when he told me that before but it still felt good to hear it."

"How did Andrea take it?"

"Oh you know she was angry and sad but I think relieved too. We talked for quite a while, even cried a little bit. We both knew it was coming but it wasn't easy. We're definitely still friends though but it will take some time. We need a break." He replied. He had a look of relief on his face.

"That's good." I responded, "You know I love you Kian, we all do, and all of us will be there to help you through. Just don't look to move on too fast. You've got lots of time"

"Booshka Ricky, I am going to be fine. I am going to focus on you guys and the tour. I need to reconnect a little. While you're at home, I am going to ask Sam to room with me. We need to spend more time together." He almost looked at me to ask if that was ok, like I might be hurt or something. Of course it is ok, I think it's great if they return to spending more time with each other and I like hanging with both of them.

"That sounds great! I feel bad leaving you for an extra day in Alabama like this" I responded, knowing more members of the 'Support Kian Team' would be good as this plays out. "Do any of the others know this was going to happen?"

"I only talked about it with you. I guess they probably could have figured it out what with the last week or so and the meet and greet and all. I guess I should go tell them." He said.

"If you are ready?" He stood up and nodded. I wrapped him in a hug and pulled him close. He kind of resisted for a moment and whispered "I'm ok Ricky, really" but then relaxed and hugged me tight for a few seconds. It was a good best friend hug.

He pressed the button to open the door and went out to tell the others, as the bus pulled into a rest stop.