Figuring it Out (A Rickian Story)

Pillow Talk

Ricky's POV

I am full and I am tired. What a great night! Dinner with the guys was awesome. I ate too much as always though. I hate to say it was special but there have actually been only a few nights on this tour when all of O2L has gone out together after. Part of that is because of other friends/girlfriends and part of it is that we don't want to get too tired of each other. The tour is nearly done and no one is fighting so its all good.

I am glad we are staying in Downtown Denver even though it is a little way from where the show was. Downtown is beautiful and you can see the mountains from the right places. The Grand Hyatt hotel is huge though. There must be more than 1,000 rooms in this place. I dropped my luggage of earlier but I still find it hard to find my room. I finally find it and swipe my card. I have a great view of the city and the mountains but I am ready to fall into bed. I close the curtain and look around. The room is not huge, a king bed, a chair, a small desk and a big screen TV. But it is mine, all mine. This is rare for shows, conferences or tours. Although we get travel money, we often rent suites or share rooms. I often room with Kian  or JC, or even Connor if he isn't rooming with other YouTube friends.

I strip down and change into shorts and a tank. I watch a couple of videos including Connor's latest as it was his day to upload. We are doing On Tour week as we have been traveling so much and it is difficult to do a different theme.  I finished editing my upload for tomorrow on the bus earlier.

Then I throw a music channel on the TV, watch a couple of music videos and do a few stretches before bed. I am about to lie down when I hear a knock at the door. Several knocks actually. I flip off the TV and ask who it is. "Ricky, I need your help!" Says a familiar voice. It's Kian.

I open the door. Kian looks a little disheveled and is wearing shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops. I hope he isn't looking for condoms because I don't think I have any. I gave the couple I had to Connor the other night, which was strange but I didn't ask. Kian rushes in by me and I close the door.

"I'm sorry Ricky. Can I crash here tonight?   Sam is drunk and brought that girl home from the restaurant earlier." 

He flops on my chair. I sigh lightly, so much for a room to myself.  No big deal, Kian and I have slept in the same bed many times, although I wonder what happened to his bags. "Of course you can stay. Is that all that is bugging you?"  Sometimes I can read Kian like a book.

"I was texting with Andrea on the bus.  We're friends of course but I am still trying to figure things out.  I've been so happy these last two weeks with the stress of the relationship off my back and hanging out with my brothers and the fans but I am starting to feel a little empty."  He says, "Plus I didn't want to hang out with cute couple making out in the same room."

Suddenly I feel a little guilty for my make-out session with the cute girl in Charlotte with Kian hanging around, but I snap out of it.  "You are bound to be depressed sometimes.  I've been worried you were taking it too well.  The fact that you still refer to the stress of the relationship probably means you made the right choice.  Relationships are supposed to be fun for the most part" I reason with him.

"You're right of course - it's just that girls are so confusing.  I'm ok.  It's all good.  I've got you, and Sam and the others."  He starts bouncing on the bed and then looks at me with big eyes.  "I can tell you're tired."

"Yes," I said, "I literally was about to go to bed when you knocked. Are you ready to sleep or do you need some more time to calm down. I'm here to listen if you need me." I get into the bed.

"I'm ok." he says, and paused slightly and looked away, staring at the curtains. The he gets out of the chair, kicks off his shoes and dives into the bed on the other side. I turn off the light and fluff a pillow, ready for sleep. Except Kian is not ok. I quickly feel a foot against my leg. This is not a romantic gesture. Kian and I are best friends and I know his little ticks. When he is nervous or upset he will touch me a little, almost just to confirm I am there for him. Sometimes it's on the arm or shoulder, sometimes it is is on the knee, sometimes if we are sitting next to each other he will put his hand on top of mine and just tap a couple of fingers. It's subtle but I know exactly what it means.