Figuring it Out (A Rickian Story)

The Break Down

Ricky's POV

I wake up groggy and nothing feels right with the world. I am instantly aware of the cute boy sleeping next to me but it is not the boy I am looking for. It just feels weird. Don't get me wrong, Connor and I have shared a bed many times on road trips but I know this isn't right for either of us. Connor is a sweet friend for wanting me not to have to spend and awkward night with Kian and I know I have to start getting over him, in case he and Andrea become a thing again. But sometimes Connor needs to put himself first. He and Troye don't get enough time together as it is. Connor has a smile on his face and I bet he is dreaming about Troye, just not too romantically I hope, given our present situation.

"You know staring at someone while they sleep is kind of creepy Ricky." Connor says suddenly without opening his eyes.

"I just woke up," I respond. "We're you dreaming of Troye?"

Connor opens his eyes fully and grins. "Of course. But don't worry, no risk of sticky messes, Troye took care of me before I came back to spend the night with you."

I throw a pillow at Connor. Way, way too much information.

"Sorry Rick, I don't mean to throw that in your face. How are you? Did you sleep ok? I was out solid so I don't know if you were restless or anything." Connor asks while rising up on an elbow to look at me, his messy bed head in all kinds of directions.

"I slept ok, a little on and off. But really I am ok, much better than you think. You don't need to worry so much about me." I reply.

"Stop being so brave Rick. I'm your friend and I'm meant to be here to support you. If god forbid Troye and I ever hit a rough patch, I am going to need you to talk me off the ledge. So just tell me what you need. You don't always have to be the strong one, supporting everyone else." He says. I know how much he cares but I also know what I am doing is right and the hurt will go away over time. If I am not strong, I worry Kian won't be and we will just be a big mess of uncertainty.

"Right now I need three things Con. First, just be there to catch me if I fall, but I'm fine now. Two, I know it's hard for you but please don't hate Kian for this. And three, I'm starving so order us something while I wash up." I get up immediately and head for a warm shower.

So that's what Connor does and I enjoy crepes and fruit while he washes up and calls Troye. We agree to meet downstairs. Today we tour Paris.

We get down to the lobby and wait for the others as they slowly arrive. Before Kian gets there, I pull Trevor and JC and explain the situation. I ask them to be supportive of both of us. The elevator opens and there are Kian and Troye. Although he looks a little pale, Kian quickly wraps an arm around my shoulder and whispers, "I missed you last night." I am not sure what to say, luckily we are distracted by an amazing site. Troye greets Connor with a passionate kiss that lasts several seconds. We didn't even see that while we shared a room with them. I feel even more guilty that we separated them last night.

Andrea arrives and actually heads right toward me. She hugs me and whispers in my ear, "I'm sorry this is so confusing and I know you love Kian. No matter what I want us all to still be friends." I'm a little surprised because I don't know what Kian has told her, maybe the whole truth? I hug back but all I say is "We can get through anything." Which is true, if a little detached from the reality of the situation.

I watch as Andrea hugs Kian and takes him by the hand. She asks if we are all ready to see Paris and everyone cheers. It's going to be a fun day, if an awkward one. Andrea and Kian lead the way and we are off.

The whole day pretty much goes the same way. Andrea and Kian in the lead with Andrea playing tour guide. JC, Lia, Blake and Jenn kind of hang out in the middle and ask Andrea questions. Connor and Troye cling together and Connor basically refuses to talk to Kian. Trevor and I hang back most of the time and have fun talking and taking pictures of each other and basically ignoring our problems. Leave it to Trev to find a way to cheer me up. At one point he starts singing songs in French.