Figuring it Out (A Rickian Story)

New Accommodations

Kian's POV

I wake up and it seems like something is missing. The light shines through Ricky's curtains as if to try and sell me that it is going to be a great day. It should have been. We're moving to an exciting new place and Connor is coming with us. But there is too much missing. Too much empty in my life right now. The tears start welling up again. Sam is missing from my life now. Andrea is headed to Paris today and Ricky, where is Ricky? Not in his room with me like I kind of wish he was. He's probably going on the day and even though I don't want to, I need to move. I get up and use the toilet in the bathroom I share with Ricky. I was up a little without showering. I notice that Connor's door is open but he isn't there either. All that is there are boxes and empty furniture.

I walk downstairs and find JC packing electronics. I put an arm around him but it startles him a little.

"Kian. Whoa. You stink a little. Where have you been? I went up to your room earlier but you weren't there. I thought you went to get the truck with Ricky and Kian."

"Umm...I was in Ricky's room...umm...sleeping." I respond. I wonder what JC is going to think. Maybe I should explain why? But I want to talk Ricky first. Truth is, it was the best night I spent in a while and I think I may need it too happen again. How do tell another guy that you want to sleep in the same bed with him more? Ricky is going to think I am way messed up. But I am messed up and things aren't normal.

"Oh..." is all he said. "Well are you doing ok, given, you know, Sam, and moving, and all?"

"Not really, but I am trying to push through." I respond, "Andrea is leaving for Paris today too. We said good bye yesterday. How about you?"

"Gotta get by day by day," JC says, "being around you guys helps and having Lia around is awesome. Help me take this crap apart."

I help JC for a few minutes with all the cords and stuff. Then I go find some of Connor's food to eat. The top reason I wanted Connor with him was that I like having him around but he also contributes to me not starving. I really should just pay him to shop for me. I send Andrea a good luck text. Then I send Ricky a where are you text. Then I check twitter and video comments. The comments about Sam are overwhelming and I sit on the floor and cry for a while. I try to do it quietly so JC doesn't know. I tweet out. "Still so sad about Sam but me and the guys are thankful for your love and support." I realize that we are going to have to think about videos and stuff but I am not ready.

I get a text from Ricky. "Ten minutes away. I have food for you."

I wander up to my room an put more things in boxes. I still feel lonely and have urges to lash out and mess something up but I fight them. I want to hear laughter again, particularly my own. But I just can't yet.

Ricky and Connor arrive back with a truck to load and food for me and JC. We put together a plan for moving on the day.

Ricky's POV

Moving was strangely normal for the four of us, which was a good thing given all of the pain. Connor tried to organize. We all bickered. JC accidentally dropped a box on my foot. We made a mess. We threw things at each other. But eventually we got in done and made it to our awesome new house with a spectacular view and a working hot tub!

Unpacking continues to be a hot mess and I am stripped to a pair of shorts and sweating. I finally get to the point that my bed and desk are setup and my clothes are enough put away for tonight. I decide to grab a quick shower. I pass by Kian's room and stick my head in. He appears to have his desk and shelves setup and his clothes away but his bed is still in pieces and his mattress up against the wall. He is sitting on the floor cross-legged in a trance.