Figuring it Out (A Rickian Story)

In the Air Tonight

Ricky's POV

Kian and I made a good decision after our time back in Denver.  Maybe we need more time to explore all parts of a physical relationship before going all the way again.  So for the past couple of weeks we have had fun "exploring" and sometimes just cuddling and things have been much less awkward.

But now we are headed to Europe with Connor, JC, Lia, Trevor and Blake for a two week adventure with shows in Dublin, Barcelona, London and Paris.  We are staying extra time in Paris to see Andrea and the other beauty girls.

Two flights and fifteen hours of flying meant lots of time for talking, including about another stressful subject we've been avoiding...coming out.  Everyone seems asleep so I turn to Kian and whisper, "Kiki, we're going to see a lot of YouTubers on this trip, are we going to let them know about us?"

"The more people we let know, the more likely the fans find out." He responds, "You I'm not ready for the world to know.  And it's not that I don't want the world to know I love you, I just don't know how I want to explain my sexuality and things like that."

I completely understand and don't want to push Kian too far.  But at the same time..."If we come out to a few folks, it will be much easier to be relaxed when touring around London or Paris and not having to hide things."  I argue.

"True, let's take it place by place and person by person."  He says, "I don't think most people are surprised when Rickian is all touchy, feely anyway so they may not notice unless we start making out."

"What about Andrea, when we're staying with her?"  I ask.

Kian tenses.  Telling Andrea is clearly going to be an issue for him.  "I don't know Rick, that's going to be hard.  How is she going to react to the fact that I started dating you after her?  I mean we left it that we might explore getting back together when she came back to L.A.  Clearly that's off.  I know she loves you and I think she still loves me but she always seemed to hate Rickian when I dated her.  We need to think more about that."

"We have to be honest some time or it may hurt more."  I respond.  He just nods and snuggles up against me.  I don't think he wants to talk about it anymore.

We arrive in Dublin and have a few hours to tour around before bed-time, just the group of us.  So Kian and I can pretty much be ourselves.  We enjoy a nice dinner out before finding our hotel.

Kian's POV

So hotel rooms in places like Dublin are expensive and we economized by sharing rooms, JC and Lia, Trevor and Blake and me and Ricky with Connor. I guess everyone figured that Ricky and I could share one bed and Connor could have the other. Of course it also meant no romantic activities for me and Ricky. Is it wrong for me to be a little relieved? I've been feeling a little romantic pressure with Ricky and I am all for a nice cuddle tonight. We can cuddle in front of Connor can't we? Hopefully it won't be too awkward.  Then it's like Connor can read my mind.

"So...um...I don't want this to be too awkward. You guys are ok if I wear my usual bed clothes right?" Connor asks.

Connor's usual bed clothes consist of a pair of sleep pants and no shirt so I don't no why he is worried. No one is getting naked here. Ricky and I usually sleep in boxers, even together.

"What are you worrying about Con?" I respond.

"I just don't want you two to feel, you know, uncomfortable around me." Connor responds and heads to the bathroom. Ricky and I strip down and get into bed.

"Why is he acting weird?" I ask.

"Because he loves us and the thought of us but this is different. Normally when we've roomed together, we've just been a bunch of friends. Things are a little different staying with a couple."