***********************CHAPTER FIVE************************
LEVI's POV
I dont know what got into me when I grab Erwin and almost punch him,it feels like I was possessed by an unknown force when Hanji showed up on his doorstep making me froze on my current position and decided to let go of Erwin and went out of the door out of embarrassment but I kept my face emotionless all the time so its hard to determine.I went to my room because there is nothing shitty to do,I should clean my room today...
As I open my door I found Petra sitting on my bed.What the actual fuck?How did she open my room?Did I left it open?
"How did you get here?" I ask coldly as usual
"by the door ofcourse,heichou" she said teasingly
"just answer the goddamn question!" I am already pissed that time
"I ask Hanji to show me your spare key" sure,that shitty glasses again
"Its not like its a crime that your girlfriend can open your door while your comrade can slept with you as much as she want" she continued
"What are you trying to say?" I ask cautionly with venom on my voice
"Hanji knows everything about while me I dont know a thing,are you having an affair with her?" she said
"Are you accusing me?" I glare at her
"Can you just answer it Levi" she call me by name again which I dont really like,it feels odd
"No." I respond,she came close to me and wrap her arms to my neck as I feel her breathing on my face,her face was centimeter away from me when she close the gap between our lips,kissing me but I pulled away.
"What the fucking wrong with you?" I yell
"No Levi,I should be the one asking you that" she fired back
"Petra,you know this relationship is fucking choking me to death I cant even breath a single fucking air" I manage to blurt out
"You want space?I'll give you space" she said calmly but hurt because of my shitty words
"Lets end this" I said
"Levi,dont" she said as tears began to form on her eyes
"I need time to think about this.."
"I'll give you time as much as you want,how long as you want but dont leave me" she pleaded
"I dont want to be stuck on a loveless relationship where kissing a girl meant really nothing to me" it may sound like I'm a total dumbass but I'm saying the truth,I dont really feel any love
"You mean,I meant nothing special but just a comrade?" now her tears are dripping to her blouse.I'm being honest to her so I said my thought about this shitty relationship if you can really call this as one and manage to broke up with her that easy but for her it was a hard time because she said that I'm the reason that she joined the Survey Corps and she even said that I am her world,I'm a fucking human not a fucking planet or whatsoever you call this shitty reality.I took a deep breath and started to clean my own room after Petra had left.I bagan to scrub the floor when my door burst open revealing Hanji with her usual beamy eyes and messy hair that doesnt look like a hair afterall,more like a nest.
"What do you want shitty glasses?" I ask not bothering to look at her
"Levi! Next week will be the ball!" shit I totally forgot that ball,I watch her as she make that shitty fantasizing face like a teenager dreaming about her prince charming,the fuck.
"Stop that face four eyes you look more shitty than you already was" I said in pure disgust
"You look tinier than usual too short stack" tch,she doesnt even know when to shut her mouth,the problem was not in her face but with that fucking mouth,just her mouth and her filthiness.She exited my room whistling a fucking I dont know song and even humming to the tune.That woman is really getting into my nerve.
HANJI's POV
I might be excited about the ball but I am more excited about facing the colossal titan who is big enough to breach a 50 meter high wall,Wall Maria to be precise.I excited Levi's room with a happy face because I feel like it and even humming a song I didnt know where does came from but just suddenly appeared.I walk to my squad's room and they greeted me with a salute.They kept a serious face as I talk about Titans and experiment abd some are doesnt even bothering to listen but I dont mind it because all people doesnt mind me at all so why would I bother to someone who doesnt care about my existance?Its just a waste of time but everytime I tell myselft those words,I feel pain on my chest that I dont know what does it mean but I just know that I should understand the ones younger than me because I,myself know that I am really getting older by a nick of time.
On my way to the kitchen I pass Petra's room but this time her door was shut but I could hear a sobbing sound inside it.I gossip,I kow its not right but I cant help but wonder.I decided to leave her alone not to interfere with her personal problems but I hear some soldiers are whispering after I pass by.
"I feel bad for Petra-san,she doesnt deserve to be treated like that" a girl said
"I didnt know squad leader is such a slut" a guy whispered
"maybe she's Heichou's fuck buddy" another woman muttered
I have completely no idea what are they talking about but when they see me walking pass them,their eyes are all on me eyeing me from head to toe,some are.looking at me like I'm some sort of a criminal and others are disgusted,what did I do?
I saw Moblit approaching me with a worried expression.
"Buntaichou!I'm been looking for you since morning"
"Moblit,why everyone are eyeing viciously like a walking bacteria of some sort?" he take a deep breath then said
"Petra and Heichou broke up this morning and everyone is blaming you thinking you are a third party not to say,others badmouthing you as Corporal's fuck buddy" my mouth formed as "oh" as a respond because I have nothing more to say,I am speechless.I hope those rumors would get away soon...
EREN's POV
I was looking for mom,or should I say squadleader when I heard some soldiers are badmouthing her saying she's a slut and Heichou's fuck buddy.my anger boiled inside me as I grab a smaller soldier by his collar making his face closer to me as I eye him deep to his soul.
"What did you say again?!why dont you say it to my face?!Slut my fist,she's not a slut!" I shouted at him ready to land a punch to his not so handsome face when an unknown hand caught my first before it make an impulse,I look at the owner of the hand as surprise to see Mikasa
"Eren,you shouldnt punch a soldier" she said calmly as always,I dont like it when she interfere like this and making my moment be ruined
"You dont even know the reason Mikasa!Stop interferring to my life!" I yelled at her
"Your mother told me to take care of you" she said
"But she never said that you could be her!" I yell
"Just because they are badmouthing Hanji doesnt mean you need to harm someone Eren"
"You take it easy Mikasa because it means Nothing to you" I responded as I take my fist away from her hand and drop the soldier as he guy cowered in fear as his friends help him to get up.
I search for my mom and wanted to be sure she is alright.I want to give Hanji-san the best of me that I never gave to my mother while she is still alive and I dont want my second mom to feel that way,the way that I treated my mom before...which I really regret when she was gone..her absence makes me realize how much I love her and neede her in my life and I want Hanji-san,my second mom,not to feel the same painful attitude I have before.
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IF ONLY (A LEVIHAN FANFIC)
FanfictionThe only thing that we are allowed to do is to believe that we wont regret the choice we've made.A line that is ringing on my head but will I always keep that choice that I wont regret?
