13 // haha lol

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{date: 5.29.2018}

//xx//

so, it's kind of been a while. but I have one question, why the fuCK do you keep doing this. you keep on leaving me confused. and honestly, I'm fucking tired of this. but you already knoW THAT ILL BE WELCPMING YOU WOTH OPEN ARMS. you need to realize how much damage that you've done to me. lmao, I still love you tho. actually, I still love both of you guys. I don't even know if I'm over both of y'all. and one of them happened like two fucking years ago.

I need therapy haha. like asap bc I cat really take this. I want to talk about things with a professional, you know ?? like my thoughts ARE ACTUALLY gonnakill me one day.

im like high key scared to have kids. like I feel like I'll mess up someone's life or something. honestly, I don't even want to be in romantic relationships anymore bc of my ex. like now, I'm super scared of doing that again. I just wanna live alone, with my dog.

I don't even know lol. sometimes I look at this guy that I had a thing with & my heart still like,,,,hurts ???? like idk how to explain it lmao. uGH that's another thing, like sometimes I feel so closed off to everyone. like no one knows the real me I guess ???

but anyway, let me just drown in a pool of my oWN TEARS HAHAHA

//xx//

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