babble with andie

18 // sad&lonely

{date: 10.28.2018}

//xx//

so, i dont know where to start ?? like i just feel like i dont fit in with my friends anymore. :// like i dont know how to explain it.

the things that they say dont make me laugh anymore, the things that we do when we hang arent that much fun anymore ????

i feel like i dont even have any friends. like i feel like ive isolated myself so much & for so long that i kinda just dont know them anymore?

i dont know.

but i just hate it. i hate that when i have any sort of problem in my life, im too scared to just go to the people i know are there for me. like why tf am i so scared ?? whats the worse that can happen ? they help me ? oh wow . big deal !

like i dont know where my mental state is now a days. things are jsut too much. & whenever people actually wanna hang out w me, i feel like it's always too much & i say no. like wtf is wrong w you andie ? werent you the one that wanted to hang out w them ? but now that they initiate hanging out w you, you dont wanna do it ??

i also feel like no one really cares about me anymore ? idk, that might just be me being dramatic. but then again, i dont fucking know.

i literally dont know anymore. i feel so numb to the point where like nothing makes me happy anymore ?

i also feel really destructive too,,,,,thats like,,,bad lmao. destructive andie is not the way to go lol.

i feel like im the edge of a mental breakdown but cant like actually have a mental breakdown ?? if that even makes sense ????

also, like who the fuck am i ? i feel like im constantly craving change but too scared to actually fucking change ? i feel like i literally need to move to another town or city or state or fucking county ! i dont care, im like low key sick of eveything & things are getting so boring & someone plEASE TAKE ME AWAY KJSDHKLFHGJK

i just wanna write out my life & have it come true.

why cant things just be easy ?

i wanna be a different person.

like i wanna change my whole personallity.

am i having a mid-life crisis ? i dont know.

am i going absolutly crazy ? uhhhhh,,,,fuck yeah i am hahahaha.

//xx//