(GxG) Friends Can Break Your Heart Too || JENLISA (COMPLETED)

29 - Love Just Ain't Enough

AN:

Before I start the chapter, I just want to address those who are saying that Jennie is so oblivious/naive/unfeeling/etc even though Lisa was so obvious. I want to explain this phenomenon using some of my favorite quotes by my favorite character (Yuuko from xxxHolic):

Often times, people simply deny the existence of what they do not understand, and anyone who tells them otherwise is a liar.

There are many unusual things in this world. Everyday events occur that cannot be explained. Bizarre phenomena that often go unnoticed because people close their eyes to what they don't understand. But the truth of the matter is, there are many unusual things in this world. And people... People are the most mysterious of them all.

And on Lisa's inaction, you've got to understand that she has already solidified her belief on the outcome of her feelings; and something set in stone cannot be easily altered:

If you've decided that you can't do it even before you act, you have already made it into something impossible.

If you believe it was destined to happen it is most likely to happen, if you believe nothing has been decided then most likely nothing has been decided.

PS, if you see anything and want to voice something out, please don't be afraid to do so and to criticize. I like reading criticisms, because it challenges my thinking and helps me expand my views. I also love constructive arguments so feel free to discuss anything you want about this book.

End

***

My Dearest Lisa,

Days turned to into weeks, and weeks turned into months; all this time I've been patiently yearning for you to hold me close in your arms, for you to look at me with your adoring brown eyes, for you to come barging into my dull and dreary life once more, yet even after all this time, still we are worlds apart.

Every day, I ponder what changed?

How did we end up in this ruins? Where have I gone wrong? When did our friendship start to crumble? What will happen to all the plans we had for college? Didn't you say that you'd be a starving artist while I go on and become a doctor of some sorts? Or did you also forget that, like how you forgot our promise to stay friends forever. We had our lives all mapped out, so how could I possibly go on without you?

I have a million questions swirling through my head, but all remains unanswered. Thinking about it, I never even asked you why; you never even gave me the chance to ask you why. But that doesn't really matter anymore now, does it? For all of these questions will eventually be forgotten, like an illusive dream that evokes such fervent emotions during our sleep, yet only leaves us with a sense of confusion and bewilderment in the morning when we awake.

I know we will never be the same again, but like the fool that I am, I still keep losing my resolve and find myself longing for the good old days, thinking we can still go back to how it was. I still desire to hold on to you and never let you go, but I'm not so sure anymore if you even feel the same. I want to be selfish and have you forever be by my side, but the more we cling into what used to be, the more we just hurt and tear each other apart. We bring out the best in each other, but we also bring out the worse; and right now, that is all we do, and I don't want that. I don't want us to end up loathing each other, and it would kill me if you end up abhorring me any more than you do now, so while I still see you as the glorious creature that you are, while I still see you in your beautiful halo, I have decided to finally let go of us even if it shatters me to do so. This is the only way I could preserve all of our beautiful memories before we could ruin everything and leave nothing untainted.