Sweet Amnesia | Wonho ✔️

22.

• Sohee •

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"Sohee-ya, it's Wonho, again. I don't know if you have read my texts or seen my calls but could you tell me what's wrong? Are you okay? I really miss you, please respond."

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"Sohee, it's Wonho. I heard from your boss that you no longer worked at the music store. I'm worried about you so please call me back."

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"Hey, Sohee. Hyungwon here, Wonho hyung said you haven't replied to him for two days straight. Is it true? But he tends to be dramatic so call him soon, I guess?"

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"It's me again. Sohee, d-did I do something wrong? I messed up, didn't I? Can we talk this out-"

The repetitively annoying voice messages and buzzing finally stopped bugging my ears when I harshly turned off the phone, taking out the sim card and throwing it into the trash bin.

I'm so tired of this.

Throwing myself upon my bed, my swollen eyes stared at the same ceiling I've been looking at for these past few days. I didn't know what went wrong with me, why couldn't I move passed the reality in front of me? Why did I keep on sulking on facts?

Do I wish everything was a bad dream? That I'll wake up to a world where none of this ever happened?

"Why?"
I kept asking to myself, but staying isolated from this terrifying and unpredictable world wouldn't provide me the answer I wanted either. My memories after the accident was too vague, any details went to waste since I couldn't bring my own brain to remember. I've been to places which supposedly held a significant meaning to myself, but nothing came clear after.

I needed to know the reasons things happened and the decisions I made, what had caused them.

My legs decided to gain strength and got up from the bed, rubbing my eyes briefly before going to my shelves. Hands easily grabbed all the photo books, yearbook, memory box and other stuff containing images.

Moving the furniture in my bedroom to create a large, unused space on the wooden floor of my room. After looking at the pictures, I began putting each photo, one by one, according to the period and my memory. A small smile faintly appeared as I recalled events in my life which had molded me into, me.

I recognized many familiar faces and as my eyes moved along the timeline of memories, I couldn't ignore the truth in which Wonho was an enormous part of my life, along with Hyungwon. My heart was exhausted of hurting, it became numb. I was aware of the pain he caused me, but I wouldn't run away from this anymore.

My hand picked up a picture, it was my first painting competition in elementary school. My clothes and face were covered in paint as Wonho, being the big brother role he used to be, was wiping my face with his white uniform.
Naive, yet so pure.

Kneeling down, palms pressing my face in order not to shed another wasteful tear. My fingers still held onto Wonho and I's childhood photo in agony, "I'm in pain, Shin Hoseok."