Spiderboy

fifty eight

Peter hung his head again. looking as if remorse was physically weighing him down.

"I know. But I meant that if I'd known..."

"Peter, you didn't even know who I was then. I know I can't change the past, I know that. But you need to as well. So as much as you try to make this okay, it still happened, and there's nothing you can do about it now."

There was a long pause between us before Peter lifted his head again.
"okay. I know I can't change the past, but that's not what I was asking. I asked how you were alive."

I drew together my eyebrows, confused about his question.
"because the paramedics came, you know that-"

"no! I'm not talking about that night i'm talking about when you jumped off the top floor of Avengers Tower! And you somehow didn't even hit the ground! hell, I couldn't even see you fall! But now you're here." Peter said moving towards me and I stood up quickly, trying to move back.

"there are other superheroes in this city Peter. Others who actually save the people!" He barely took note of my insult, moving closer until I was running out of room to back away. 

"you're lying."
He said softly and I opened my mouth to object. 

"I'm not" I lied again, stepping back once more and stumbling. Peters arms shot out and were around my waist in a second, pulling me into his body. I inhaled sharply and squeezed my eyes shut.

"I'm not."

Peter didn't say anything, but I could feel his warm arms, firm around my waist, and his breath on my nose, every part of him radiating heat into my exhausted self, and giving me hope that refused to give in to. 

"Alexis..." he whispered, and hearing him call me by my name brought a sting to my eyes that I couldn't deal with.

"Peter stop"

"just let me in"

"Let go." I said, though part of me wished he wouldn't.

He didn't move so I opened my eyes, silently cursing his good looks. He looked the same as he always did, and it only made things worse. I turned my gaze away from his brown eyes, looking at the floor and ignoring our close proximity.

"Alexis, look at me" he said and I didn't reply, still keeping my eyes trained on the floor. I felt his arm move from around my waist and exhaled slowly. Soon he would just leave. He'll just walk away. But that didn't happen. 

I felt his hand move to my face, but couldn't move away, my arms were stuck against my chest, my body crushed against his. 

"Peter, please don't. Just leave." It took all my willpower to push him off me, and I immediately felt the chill of his absence. 

"whatever was between us, it's over. I'm done with us, okay? Now please leave me alone." I said, mustering up as much strength as I could, and walking away, trying to keep my feet steady. 

I was both relieved and disappointed that he didn't follow me, and a single tear slid down my cheek as I left the building. 

Sprinting down the road, I ignored the subway station and started to run to my apartment, knowing it would take me a while. Tears were now flowing freely down my face, and I did nothing to wipe them away, letting out a single, broken sob.

After I was far enough from the school, I ducked into an empty side road to catch my breath. I wiped the tears from my face and breathed deeply, trying to calm down a little. 

Once my breathing had slowed, I closed my eyes and relaxed, letting my body fade into nothing, and stopping anyone from seeing me. I opened my eyes and looked down, seeing only my surroundings. 

glancing up at the buildings around me, I wiped away tears from my cheeks, and dropped my gaze back down to where my hands were, watching as a purple glow radiated from them. the faint outline of my hands the only part of myself I could see. I sighed and dropped my hands, the aura fading back into nothing. 

I jumped up, floating in air, and moved forwards. deciding on flying the rest of the way home wasn't a hard choice, i needed to relax, so i did, though my thoughts were on Peter. 

There really was something between us, I knew that, but what could I do about it? I already told him that I wanted this over, and I thought it was the right decision, but now I was just even more broken and hurt. 

I could only hold off my emotional breakdown for so long, and I had little time left before I passed the point of no return. But what I felt for Peter was something I hadn't felt before, a hundred times stronger than what I thought I felt for Flash. 

It had only been about ten minutes and I was already debating running back to him. But I didn't- i couldn't. 

Once my apartment block was in view, I became re-visible, and walked the short rest of the way. "hello miss, shouldn't you be at school?" Murray, my doorman said and I shrugged 

"yeah, but I'm not feeling that great." I replied and he smiled kindly at me.

"you look like you were crying. Are you going to be alright?"

I quickly swiped my hand across my eyes and sniffed 

"oh yeah, just boy drama. You know?"
I tried to laugh but it sounded fake

"ah, with Mr Peter?" Murray said in understanding and I shrugged again, feeling a little awkward.

"how did you know about Peter?" I asked him curiously and Murray smiled again

"well, I saw you with him, you seemed to just glow. And your date was very proud. How happy you were. The happiest you've been since your mother."

"oh." I said, trying and failing to keep my voice from cracking. I swallowed and asked for my apartment number, and Murray let me in with one last sad smile. 

I walked up the stairs alone, listening to the echo of my footsteps. I walked into my apartment, grabbing a pack of Oreo's, and flicking on the light in my room. I changed back into my pyjamas and opened the blinds, then jumped back at seeing something on the Window, and shrieked, holding my hand to my chest.

"jeez." I breathed out and looked back at the window, having calmed down from my mini heart-attack. 

My bag was webbed to the glass, with a letter stuck in with it. I laughed a little, opening my window and cutting them free. I left my bag on the floor and looked at the letter. On the front was Peters familiar messy scrawl, tracing out two words

I'm sorry.