Iconic Shivika

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ's ɴᴏᴛᴇ ~ 6

This is a special addition, not added to my original thread. Shivika are undergoing a transitory phase and this is intended to talk about that based on speculative ideas only. The content and idea behind this is to only discuss one possibility of what may happen, a possible misunderstanding between the two. Given the the track hasn't unfolded, views expressed are solely based off what may be a possible turn of events. It is nothing but a hypothetical analytical scenario.

~

(Part 2)

~

" I will always maintain this, some people will never understand flawed and complex characters like Shivaay and Annika because with characters as such, continuous judgements cannot be passed based on only one statement or action of theirs; the entire journey needs to be considered. " — Samrin

~

Shikwa ghalut nahi,
Na jawab-e-shikwa ghalut hai,
Ghalut hai toh sirf ghalut samajhna,
He ghalut hai.

~

Shivaay

Bruised and battered,
I've been shattered,
I know I've let you down,
In a sea of disappointment let you drown,
But I'm just another person like you,
From troubles to get through,
I too seek light, I too seek hope,
With tears my eyes too soak,
I was a hound and you made me change ways,
It didn't take moments, it did take days,
And I've tried so hard to stick to the sanity,
To let me stay close to what you call humanity,
But you always knew you were my anchor,
To fight this was what caused me to hanker,
You knew that if I was ever left alone,
To leap backwards I was forever prone,
I don't blame you for feeling devastated,
I don't blame you for being irritated,
I recognize, I know, all the promises I broke,
I strangled our relationship, I caused it to choke,
But how could I let you in on these fears,
You were finally happy after all these years,
I was too weak to let you feel this pain,
To let you in on my troubles again,
Your beaming smile had shown me light,
That I could flip things around, it'll all be alright,
I had learnt to keep you above everyone else,
I had finally learnt to fight with myself,
I wanted to restore your pride, your dignity,
To multiply your happiness by nothing but infinity,
I know I'm stupid, I didn't tell you,
But through this hell, how could I put you through,
We can beat the world when we're together,
But to say anything so much courage I had to gather,
After years of cherishing your individuality,
You had finally got another identity,
What you've already lost was now still at stake,
In a myriad of problems your comfort was just a break,
This time I was being tested to save more than before,
With me, I didn't want you to fall on the floor,
I was afraid this stress might torture you to death,
Might cause you to choke on your own breath,
I had hidden everything, planned to manage all,
But this silence between us came at a toll,
You were manipulated and turned against me,
And that's exactly what happened to me,
I know I didn't say much but asked you one thing,
To never make a move no matter what life brings,
To not listen to the words of another,
Be it anyone, like in the past, my very own mother,
I just asked you to believe in my words,
And now it only hurts,
That you didn't wait, didn't hold on,
With what little of one side you knew, you moved on,
The justice I fought for has been denied,
Once again my patience has been tried,
My innocent family is behind the bars,
And I'm left alone only with scars,
Questioning one thing how could you do this to me,
Is this the result of our blind trust had to be,
I see you'd taken steps to wage a war,
Now a wounded lion is left to roar,
To question why would you choose to do so,
And without a word you would go,
After all I'd seen I was still only shattered,
My hopes were nothing but only scattered,
What ruined me was the isolated state,
You know in dealing with such situations I'm not great,
Even after witnessing you took step towards the other side,
I should've looked from an aspect that was wide,
I should've stuck to my words to not believe in what the eyes show,
After all that's one aspect in what you'd caused me to grow,
But I was cornered, broken and just weak,
The chances of my brain defunctioning weren't bleak,
If only you there to catch the tear rolling down my cheek,
In the face of all this I wouldn't be so meek,
Above all evidences and circumstances would stand out trust,
And with all my might and thrust,
I would push back on anything that pulled us apart,
Maybe I wouldn't be forced to make a new start,
I hate you, I hate you more than ever before,
I most definitely hate you from the very core,
But this hate isn't coming from a blinded being,
My eyes were open, everything I've been seeing,
Is what causes me to hate you for not your impulsiveness,
But the way you left me behind as a total mess,
I don't hate you for hating me and what you did,
I hate you for quickly getting rid,
Of any opportunity to explain my point,
Of walking away, being so disjoint,
I don't hate you for misunderstanding me,
I know after all that was bound to be,
I just hate you for the results of the decision you took,
For quietly parting ways with me, leaving me shook.

~

Annika

This isn't the first time you did this,
All your promises you chose to dismiss,
You weighed the pros and cons of your decision,
And with what I call absolute precision,
You chose to once again pick your family's side,
On our relationship to turn the tide,
My eyes refuse to believe what they saw,
But you realize how my wounds were so raw,
Once again you hurt me with the choice you made,
In oblivion you caused our trust to be swayed,
You told me to believe nothing but what you utter,
But you realize even as I reassure myself I stutter,
At the thought that you could make such a move,
In our relationship run such a deep groove,
I denied, I came to prove others wrong,
This fight isn't easy for me, endlessly long,
I denied what I saw, wanted to hear from you,
An instinct to distrust you I did subdue,
But in the end I'm also just a human who makes mistakes,
My decision too have stakes,
Yes, yes I went against you to inflict pain,
But I knew to me this meant no gain,
Because I loved you so much that it hurts,
My revengeful desires I didn't want to assert,
I walked back as soon as I could,
I knew this was a step I should,
Take back just for the sake of good times,
Because I'm just in a land of land mines,
My movement will not only damage the place,
But I shall be hurt too in this case,
Even if it seemed like you'd ignored my existence,
A desired pulled me back, a sudden resistance,
That no matter how much things get tense,
Of my warrior nature this isn't the essence,
I back off because this isn't me,
An impulsive fighter, isn't what I was born to be,
I know you told me to wait for you,
But you see how much I was going through,
My heart wasn't ready to bear further pain,
So this is what I decided, laid in which the best gain,
I didn't walk away to leave you alone,
To fall prey to my state, I too was prone,
And I wasn't prepared to witness anymore,
At least from you, the person I adore,
You shouldn't have shut me out of your troubles,
You shouldn't have thought I'd be fine in my bubble,
You promised to share all,
You promised to make that first call,
A call for me, telling me what storm was coming our way,
Yet you hid everything again, as you did till this day,
Yes to make a decision alone isn't my right,
But tell me for how long should I fight,
Only if you didn't stay mum it would've been better,
Your move is all that had to matter,
With the history of all the choices you made,
Tell me am I so wrong to believe you played,
With my heart, my emotions, and picked someone else,
Put me out to face it all, and saved someone else,
To you your family matters the most,
Even if for that out of my life you ghost,
Then tell me given the history we've had,
Am I really the one who's bad?