Perspectives

Bathroom floor

He faintly knocked on the bathroom door. He peaked his head inside and hurried as he saw her. Her hair black unruly, her eyes droopy. He took her cold fingers into his, her fingers had pruned. Her eyes not moving away from the dripping faucet.

„C'mon, we don't want to do this"

The water in the tub had gotten cold. Her shivers were constant now. Maybe it was the withdrawall, either way she wasn't getting up.

He hadn't seen her in four months. All he had gotten was a phonecall.

„It's gonna be okay baby" He hadn't called her baby since she was ten. But he didn't care, she was his daughter. He ran his hands around her and held her tightly. She didn't flinch as he picked her up and sat down with her on the limited bathroom floor. He dried the black tears moving from her eyes. He hated when she started wearing make-up, he thought she was too beautiful for that, but she wasn't sixteen anymore.

„Marie" she whispered.

„I know baby" He held back his own tears as he started to gently rock her as he did when she was just a baby. „It's going to be okay"

„I didn't -„

„shhh" he interrupted.

„she was okay" she added. „I didn't know! There was something that went wrong. We were just going to have a good time. And now she's all alone. I left her."

He had not been this close to his daughter in about a year. Not even a hug, but it felt the distance had not been there for now. He had her in his arms and that was all, that was enough.

„She's not alone" He assured her. She looked up at him, enravelled in his warmth. „i got a call from them"

He felt as if he had seen what was left of her disappear. Now there was nothing left. He could see her over the year distance herself but she was never completely gone, until now.

„She's gone baby, there was nothing you could have done for her. You did your best"

„no i didn't! I gave her the drugs and then i ran when everything went wrong!" she screamed and cried. He had missed her so much, he felt almost selfish, glad to have her back. But he would never say it. He would just hold her. As tightly as she needed for now.

„I killed her" she cried. He caressed her cheek and kissed her forehead as she buried her head in his arms and cried though the night.