All This Time (Destiel, Sabriel and Michifer AU)

Sam's Breakdown

Sam closed his eyes and tried to relax as Gabe played with his hair as he watched something on TV. They had just gotten back from their time helping Dean out and were sprawled out on the couch in their new apartment. Sam was lying down with his head in Gabe's lap as the shorter boy was watching TV, but all he could think about was his brother.

He was worried about Dean, what if he did something stupid or never got better? 

"Samoose, lets just snuggle and watch TV, I can feel your brain thinking from here," Gabriel calls to Sam.

"Don't you mean hear, as in 'I can hear your brain thinking from here'?" Sam laughs, sitting up and cuddling into Gabe. "I've been thinking lately."

"Good chuck, he can think," Gabriel sasses, his eyes lively.

"Shush you idjit," Sam slaps his boyfriend gently. "I've been thinking about us-"

Gabe's playful demeanor fell away, his eyes growing serious. "You don't, uh, regret getting back together so fast, do you?"

"What? No! No, I was actually thinking about how lucky I am..." Sam pulled Gabriel onto his lap, resting his forehead against the shorter man's. "I mean, it sucks watching Cas and Dean be unable to get back to where they once were, but I was lucky enough to not only find my first and only love again, but also get him back... I'd never regret us Gabe."

Gabriel smiles widely, "I love you Sammy, and nothing will ever change that."

Sam smiles back, refusing to acknowledge the wetness in his eyes as he presses his lips softly against Gabe's. "Good, because I had the worse dream the other night, you died and I have been freaking out because I keep having the dream and of course watching my brother lose Lisa has been hard and I just-"

Gabe cuts off Sam's rambling by pressing his lips firmly against Sam's. "I'm fine."

"I know, but its just that having this same stupid dream every night is starting to get tiresome and... I just can't wait for life to get back to normal."

Gabriel scoffs, "please, I'm in your life, nothing will ever be normal."

Sam sighs, "a very sad truth." 

With that, they turned their attention back to the TV and spent the afternoon snuggling on the couch.

~~3 months later~~

Sam stared blankly out the raindrop covered window, the grey sky making everything seem just that much worse. It didn't help that his nightmares of losing Gabe were starting to cause him to lose sleep. 

Sam sighed, feeling slow and depressed, and wishing Gabriel was safe at home rather than out getting more candy. Basically, he was having a bad day. He hadn't had one in a while, but even living with the person that had practically saved him couldn't banish the darkness forever.

Wrapping his arms around himself, Sam tried to fight the heavy sadness as he reminded himself of all the good in his life, like all the light Gabriel brought with him.

'But what if he decides he wants more than his highschool love?  Sam shook his head, no Gabriel loved him. 'But what if...

Sighing, Sam picked up his abandoned book about Greek mythology and tried to distract himself. Love don't die, wasn't there a whole song by The Fray about that? He just had to trust Gabriel. But it was hard when he had these annoying thoughts constantly bugging him and making him doubt everything. 

Curling up in a depressed ball, Sam abandoned the book once more to stare out the window. The front door opened and closed again, alerting him to Gabriel's return but Sam makes no move to look up.