All This Time (Destiel, Sabriel and Michifer AU)

Castiel is a fanboy

Sam

Ever since Dan joined them, the waiting room had gone from painful and sad to slightly less so. Sam had spent the past hour watching the usually put together Castiel try not to fanboy overly loud around Dan.

Turns out Dan was the Dan that Gabe and Cas had been trying to get him to watch for ages. Just wait until Gabe saw this.

"Tell me, what's it like being a famous youtuber?" Lucifer had thankfully snapped out of his quiet slump and was now talking to Dan about his career while Cas tried (and failed) to sit calmly with Ben.

"Oh it's amazing, just being able to do what I love... with the man that I love, I couldn't ask for a better life."

Sam silently awed at that. He was slightly annoyed that Lucifer had stolen his friend though.

"I have your book," Cas finally blurts out, fully star struck by now.

It was a good thing Dan was engaged, because Sam was pretty sure that Dean would have a fit if he saw how Cas was acting. It was hilarious to watch though. Cas looked like he was about to burst with excitement.

"Really?" Dan grins, "It took a lot of effort to get Phil outside."

"I bet," Cas giggle. Giggles. Castiel Novak giggled. Sam was sure that such a moment would never happen again. "Do you have fun going to conventions?"

Dan nods, "its the best! We get to meet our amazing viewers, meet other youtubers and have loads of fun."

"Is it weird? Living in America?" 

Did Cas even remember his brother? The one they were here for? Sam doubted it. 

"It is! Our accents make us stand out so badly," Dan laughs. "But it's fun too, we get to go to more conventions."

Sam's body was growing heavier, relaxed as sleepiness started to take over. It had been an extremely long night, day, whatever. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed with Gabriel and sleep for days. 

He yawns, shaking his head to try and keep himself awake. He was sure that it wouldn't be long until they heard some news on Gabriel... 

***

Five hours. That's how much longer Sam had to sit in the uncomfortable plastic chairs and try to hold himself together. Five hours of intense coffee drinking, getting to know Dan and listening to Lucifer complain. 

So a very long five hours. 

Needless to say, when Sam saw the nurse come out he felt a wave of relief. This relief was quickly washed away when he saw the look on her face. Something was wrong. 

"Nurse?" He stands quickly, ignoring the pins and needles in his cramped legs. "How is Gabriel?"

She sighs, glancing down at the clipboard in her hand. "Sam, you should come with me, we need to talk." 

Never had words sent chills down his spine like those did. They had been spoken in such a steady, calm tone but he could feel the underlying stress and somber mood. Those were the words of bad news.

Still, he was glad to find that he could indeed still walk smoothly as he followed he from the room. His nerves showing through the shaking of his hands instead. Was Gabriel okay? Had the cancer gotten worse? Was he going to...

Sam shakes his head, following the nurse into an empty office as he tried to calm the racing thoughts in his head. Unfortunately with every thought he dismissed, two more came in its place. He felt sick to the stomach with worry.

Finally the door was shut and he let out a stream of worried thoughts. 

"Is Gabe okay? What's wrong? Is it the cancer? Is he worse-"

"Mr Winchester, take a deep breath."

Sam realized that he had been running his words together and blushes. Forcing himself to slowly inhale, he waited anxiously to hear what she had to say.

"Unfortunately, Gabriel's cancer has spread."

Just like that, Sam felt his entire being shatter. 

"Now we have some possible treatment plans that could be used to ease the severity of it, but I have to frank with you Sam," she lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Gabriel might not make it through the next year."

He was sure that nothing could ever hurt more than hearing that. How had it gotten so bad so fast? He was distantly aware of the tears streaming down his cheeks, the sobs building up in his chest. One year. The words echo around in his brain. The nurse said something, but he couldn't hear her over the blood pounding in his ears. He gasped, unable to breath as the panic set in. 

Someone else came into the room, grabbing onto his shoulders and shaking him. It was Dean. He just look blankly at his brother, feeling as if he was unraveling. He was going to lose Gabriel.

"Sammy! Deep breaths!" Dean shook his shoulders. "Breath in slowly."

Trembling, Sam manages to focus on his brother's words and inhales slowly once more. Breathing out slowly, Sam lets Dean led him through this several more times as he tries to grasp his chaotic thoughts. 

Breath in. Gabriel's going to die.

Breath out. I'm going to lose the love of my life.

Breath in. Oh god, what do I do?

Breath out. I can't do this.

"Sammy?" Dean shook him once more. "You'll be alright, you hear?" Then he pulled Sam into a bone crushing hug. 

Sam broke again, clinging to his brother as he sobbed into his trainee uniform. "I can't lose him."

Then he heard Lucifer crying. The funny, childish and never sad Lucifer was crying.  

~~~~~~

Okay this time I have a good reason for not updating... we rescued a kitten and now she's mine so I've been helping her get healthy and litter training etc.... it's been exhausting 😂