Little Jinnie

Insults

A/n: Trigger warning; Self-hatred,  Self-harm, Attempted suicide. If you are triggered by any of these things, (And I don't mean in the funny way) please skip this chapter.  I don't want to hurt anyone or make anyone feel upset in any way.  I guess this is my way of venting a bit.

Jin woke up to the sound of the sound of silence. He got up and grabbed his llama and paci and walked out the door.

He walked down to the kitchen to see the other members eating breakfast.  Jin heard that they were whispering and was going to retreat back upstairs when he heard his name being mentioned.

"Ugh I'm so sick of taking care of Jin.  Why doesn't he just grow up,  he's older than all of us. " says Yoongi

"Tell me about it. We spent a Shit ton of money on a stupid stuffed animal." said Taehyung

"He acts like he can't do anything for himself.  I'm sick of stepping on legos and cleaning dishes." said Jungkook

Jin was almost in tears when he heard a very familiar voice about to say something.

"Yah,  don't say we,  I'm the one who bought it. Why did I have to be the one stuck with a 4 year old for a boyfriend." said Namjoon

And that's when Jin broke,  he started to sob lightly.  He ran upstairs and closed the door behind him and locked it.  He slowly slid down the door and just let everything out. He was shaking and crying into his stuffed llama.

After a while, he got up and started grabbing things one by one.  Throwing it in the trash, all his pacifiers,  his stuffies,  all his crayons and coloring books.  In the midst of all of this,  he found something.

It was his old blade

Before Jin found out he was a little,  he used to cut himself to cope.

He picked it up and studied it for a second before putting it in his pocket. After all of his little stuff was in the trash.  He went to the bathroom.

He looked at himself in the mirror, hating himself and how he looked.  His thoughts were putting bad things in his head.

'How are you the visual of the group'

'You look like shit, you are just a disgusting baby'

He just shook his head,  trying to get the thoughts out of his head.  He started to remember what his members had said... What Namjoon said.  Then one thing his mind said set him off.

'Since you're such a bother to everyone else,  why don't you just kill yourself'

Jin started to cry again,  for the second time this morning.  He sat down in the tub, trying to calm himself down when something poked him in his leg.

The blade

He took it out of his pocket and examined it.  Noticing the dry blood on it from cutting himself long ago.  That's when Jin's mind went blank.

Without thinking twice,  he pulled up his sleeve. Noticing the scars from previous years, he took the blade and put it to his wrist. Without hesitation or emotion, he glided the blade across his skin.  He felt the burn and watched as the blood seeped out. And he did it again.  And again.  And again.

One turned into two

Two turned into five

Five turned into ten