Maybe He's The One (An o2l fanfic)

Exsistential Crisis

((Huge time skip because this is after the tour now))

I laid down on my bed in my empty dorm room. Sienna hasn't left Jc since we got back from tour. I am still getting thrown back and forth between Kian and Connor. Sometimes it's literal. One will kiss me and just leave and then the other will kiss me. Sometimes I think it's more of a game to them now. I haven't left my dorm in a week. I'm running low on food and supernatural episodes. I have watched up to Season 6 Episode 17 in this week. I can't find the energy to leave. I haven't even taken a shower. Gross I know.

Sienna and I got into a huge fight at the end of the tour. She went to the San Fran stop and I accidentally skipped our plans . . . Twice. She got pretty mad and we made up but we aren't as close as we used to. Kian and Andrea finally broke up so we've been more careless about where and when we kiss or hug or do anything romantic. I'm still careful with Connor though because I don't want the fans to think we're back together.

I completely got off subject there, so where were we? Oh yeah, I can't find the energy to do anything. I barely even eat anymore. I rarely use my phone. I'm ignoring everyone, I've completely stopped using all social medias. I don't even care anymore. I haven't cared about much since I was fourteen. I always knew suicide would be the way I died. Now's the time, I can't go on any longer. I just can't.

I'll at least leave a note. So what do I say?

I have no idea who is going to see this first. Whether it's Sienna, Connor, Ricky, or any one else, I honestly don't care. I'm not writing this to tell you why, I am to tell you goodbye. I hope everyone knows I love them, and don't forget to tell my YouTube. Have Connor record and upload a video on my account telling my viewers what happened. He has my email and password and he'll be able to. I sincerely hope you'll be able to do without me. Just try to be happy, for me.

-Kendra

There, perfect. It's time to do this. I walked into the bathroom and swallowed about 15 of my anti-depressant pills. Obviously they didn't do much good on making me happy, but now they're helping. I heard a knock on the door right before I blacked out.

------ Hey guys, what a chapter. Honestly this is basically how I actually feel. I'm not going to kill myself so you don't have to worry, but I already feel dead inside. So to make sure I'm okay you should follow me on Tumblr. I am not as active as normal because I feel like absolute shit and I have devoted my life to supernatural, but I update it once a day so my followers know I'm alive. My URL is kendronamore.tumblr.com go follow me and I'll see you sometime soon.------