The First Gilbert Is The Last [1]

Chapter 21: Carry On Wayward Son

Warning: talk of death of a child, grief and other upsetting matters. 

Jeremy POV

"Wait so you mean to tell us that you caught in the arena once then got promoted to the Emperors second in command and then fought in loads of battles? And you trained most of the soldiers whilst being a public figure that everyone loved?" Asked Tyler sceptically at dinner. We'd been in Rome about a week now, we booked a 2 week holiday here so halfway through it. 

"Well I was around the town a lot, me and my wife would help the poor with their children whilst they worked. And with Cam I wasn't scared of him like others were. I thought that Bonnie would get me home in a few days so I wasn't worried about how I spoke to him, then I'm his greatest solider and we'd fought together for 10 years" I Said and they just shook there heads. 

"So before you had children or your wife what would you do when you weren't training?" Asked Bonnie. I thought hard about it, god it was a long time ago I don't really remember a time without my kids. 

"Honestly I probably spent my time in the streets getting a feel for the city or painting. I guess I want to be able to keep something the same from home and I had nothing else besides that" I told them and they nodded. 

We all continued to chat through the night as we finished our meals, went to a local bar for a while until we went back to the hotel. I was now lying in my bed just staring at the ceiling. I'd talked a lot about my past, my wife and children. But I never told them of Decius. My son that had died. He was my second born child and I'd never felt such loss. 

He'd just been born......

-FLASHBACK- 

"He's beautiful Titia" I Said to my wife as I held our new born son in my arms. I went over so she could see him, I'd held him first Titia's decision since she held Elvorix first. I looked down at my son and I knew something was wrong. His chest wasn't moving. "What's happening to him?" I Said and the doctor came and took him from my arms as Titia started to panic screaming for her child. The doctor looked him over before turning to us with a sorrowful look. 

"He wasn't ready for the world, his body hadn't developed fully he wasn't strong enough" he said mournfully whilst I just stood frozen, Titia screamed and wailed in the background clinging to her mother. I couldn't believe it. 

"Noo, What did you do?!!" I shouted grabbing the doctor by the front of his tunic and slamming him into a wall. "What did you do?!! Why didn't you save him?!! Why did my son die?" I cried out pained. The doctor looked at me with sympathy and I put him down backing away. I heard Titia calling my name but I just ran out of the room, I couldn't be there with my lost child who never knew what it was to be held in his mother's arms. 

I ran through the streets of Rome all night long. Never stopping never slowing down. 

Just thinking. Just trying to mourn, so I could be strong for my wife. 

Because our son is dead. 

-PRESENT- 

I mustn't have realised but I felt someone shake my shoulder. I must have fallen asleep lost in the memories. I opened my eyes blearily and saw dark hair, was it Damon or Tyler I wonder? 

"You okay you were mumbling in your sleep like you were having a nightmare or something?" I heard Tyler ask and I sat up wiping my tear stained face. 

"I'm fine, yeah I'm fine just um just bad memories" I Said and he looked concerned. I couldn't bring myself to tell him, maybe I could show him. "Can I show you something? Something that's not changed?" I asked him and he nodded. We got dressed and headed out of the hotel in the dead of night. 

I started going to the colosseum, it might be closed  it I remember where we could get inside that not many knew about. I found the tunnel easily and went down the stairs, it looked like more doors had been added to the tunnel to go restaurant basements and such. At the end though was a huge stone door. I readied myself and pushed it open. 

"Dude what are you doing?" He asked and I just smirked. When the door fully opened I stepped inside. I saw the hige room and the lanterns. I found the stone that I could use to light the fires and I did just that lighting up the dark room. 

"See the box on the pedestal" I Said and pointed towards the box in the middle of the room. "It holds what I fear the most" I told him and we walked further into the small room. A larger box was on the other side of the room but I ignored it, it wasn't there before so it's not important for me. I took another look around the room and saw more boxes, they must all be here. We were directly infront of the box now and Tyler looked nervous and scared. "Open it" I told him and he looked at me like I was crazy. 

But he did, open it that is. He looked at its contents discussed but I just had a mournful look on my face. "What the hell Jer?" He asked. A skeleton rotted since he died 2000 years ago, a baby, my son. 

"Elvorix was my first born but Decius was my second born. He was barely out of the womb 5 minutes before he died" I told him and he nodded mournfully. "I couldn't bare it. I ran around Rome that night instead of being with my wife. I planned to go to her and comfort her  it I couldn't. I didn't see her for nearly a month and when I got back she thought I was dead and her and Camillus were going to send out a search party" I told Tyler. 

"I'm sorry you had to lose him" Tyler said and I nodded closing the ancient coffin and motioned for Tyler to leave the crypt. 

"Tyler a word of advice" I started and when he looked over I continued. "If you never want to be hurt I suggest never having children because they'll always find a way to hurt you" I Said before I started walking back up the stairs to the tunnel. 

Into the night just like when Decius died. 

A/N I decided that since I skipped a lot of when Jeremy was in Rome to do a few chapter about his past and I thought maybe he should have a tragic story and this happened. Sorry if it's a sore subject for some I just want led to try add something that would happen back then, I'm here if anyone is affected by something like this and want to talk, I'm just a message away.