The Library Boy {Niam}

Chapter 15

Liam’s Pov

I sink against Harry who wraps an arm around me. I’ve called them up after freaking out. The doctors had to force me out of the room. I knew they’d try and save him considering I already paid for everything. If not they would have let him die because it was meant to happen anyways.

I wasn’t in time.

“Maybe we should go home..” Harry suggested quietly. Zayn has been quiet from the moment he walked in, Louis has gone hystirical and Harry has been silently sobbing next to me trying to calm me down while he did so and he finally managed to.

“No, I’m not leaving.”  “Liam, staying here isn’t going to make any sense.” He tells me. I know he’s just trying to help me, but it kinda pisses me off. “I’m not leaving Harry.” I say, staying in my seat.

“I don’t quite understand why no one has given us information yet..” Louis said softly, staring at his shoes. I don’t really get it either. I mean, if Niall was dead they would have told us by now though? The doctor only told me that if they managed to get his heart beating again they’d get him to the operation room straight away and after that I was pushed out of the room. Eventhough it’s obvious, I still don’t dare to assume anything.

If he did make it and was being operated right now, he could still die during the surgery.

I guess Harry gave in with staying here, because he doesn’t put effort in getting up. Zayn is busy on his Phone and I’m guessing he’s trying to distract himself. Harry kinda shoves away from me to curl up in Louis’ chest and I just stare at the empty hallway.

I’ve let Niall down. I was too late.

“You can’t have everything you want unless you deserve it.” I hear Niall saying it inside my head as his voice echo’s away further and further in a distance that doesn’t even excist, but it makes me realize something.

I don’t have Niall because I don’t deserve him.

-

“Mister Payne.” I feel a tap on my shoulder and slowly open my eyes to see a doctor.  I didn’t even notice I fell asleep. I shiver at the cold breeze in the hospital hallway and look at the doctor concerned. Everyone’s still here. It appears Harry has just woken up as well.

“Mister Horan made it through the surgery.”  He says. “His grandfather is with him now. He’s stable, but it’s all still very risky. Only one person is allowed to go in at a time.” We all nod as I stand up.

“Can I go first?”  I can read the annoyance of Zayn’s face at my question. “Why would we let you go first? You basically let him down.” He scoffed. No one stood up for me and I don’t expect them to, because I know they’re right. I could have said they should be thankfull that Niall is alive thanks to me, which was something I would definitely have done before I met Niall, but I’m much wiser now.

“That’s right..” I sigh softly, sitting down again, unable to hide my dissapointment. “I think Liam should go..”  Harry said softly, obviously not willing to piss anyone off at a moment like this. “I mean, he’s Niall’s boyfriend.” “Ex-boyfriend.”  Zayn scoffed, kicking the chair softly. I sigh but stand up anyways when I see Louis agrees and walk into the room.

Niall isn’t awake yet. I’m terrified to see him like this. His torso is completely covered in bandage, there are tubes, needles, monitors everywhere and the mask I never hoped to see again was still on his face. I glare at the heartmonitor, just wishing it won’t give the same awfull noise as this morning.

Come to think of it.. The day is almost over. I guess I was so exhausted by the stress I slept through it while they were trying to help Niall. I didn’t deserve it though. I deserved all the stress and pain that came onto me because of this. I should have listened, I should have believed him. What kind of a boyfriend am I even?

I sit down next to Niall and I’m not even sure wether to grab his hand, scared it will break to pieces like weak glass by the way he looks so fragile. His hair is damp by sweat and his skin that has always been pale is as white as could be.

His breathing is slow, but I don’t hear the awfull noises the boys have been talking about.

Is he mad at me? Will he still want me? What do I do if he doesn’t want me anymore? He has all the reason to tell me to leave and never come back? Why haven’t I considered it could have been a lie before? It was Riley God Damn and the guys told me all along.

Even Niall himself told me..

I grab his hand after all. It’s so cold I feel like he’s dead after all.. He looks.. dead.

I feel him stir as a soft moan escapes his lip barely hearable because of the mask, but considering the room is completely silent apart from the monitors and Niall’s breathing I heard it.

His blue eyes flutter open just slightly as he stares at the ceiling before his eyes slowly turn into my direction. There’s no smile, there’s no emotion at all, he just stares at me.

“Heey babe..” I break the silence. “How are you feeling?” His lips part slightly, but only a small puff is coming out as he realizes he’s unable to find his voice and gives up. “Are you in pain?”  Answering the question like this he can just nod. He gives a slight nod and closes his eyes. I hear something small. It’s like he’s talking but all I hear is a soft breathe coming out.

“I can’t understand you love.” I tell him and he appears frustrated. He tries again. I can hear what he says more clearly now, but I can’t make up the words yet. “Almost.”

When he tries again I hear him clearly.

“I want you to leave.”

To all people that thought Niall was going to die, you could have known he wouldn't if you only remembered the Liam's diary part in the first chapter aka you could have calmed your heart rate! Leave feedback please! 

Goal: 35 votes/ 15 comments