LA Big Break

Chapter Twenty Five

I woke up to hear the seat belt signs flashing. I pulled my seat belt across myself and waited as we descended into England.

I got to the terminal and doubled over in Mel’s arms. She practically carried me to the car and wiped the tears from my eyes, quite a lot of times.

‘I miss him Mel!’ I sobbed.

‘I know you do.’ She comforted.

‘I didn’t mean it.’  I whaled and she handed me another tissue. I cried on her shoulder for the next hour whilst she did her best to console me. Not that it worked but I appreciated her efforts.

‘Why don’t you speak to him, try and work things out?’ She asked as the sobbing slowly started to decrease.

‘It’s not something I can do over the phone. I need to see him Mel, but I have another five months and three weeks to wait!’ I said, choking on my words.

‘Oh Hannah, counting like that won’t make it better! Cut yourself some slack, what he said was still an awful thing TO say, it’s not all your fault!’ She replied.

‘It is, I know he didn’t mean that. He’s so scarred by our visit here that he didn’t want to come back, his breakdown showed that. He was looking at the sand when he said it, not daring to look me in the eye, he didn’t want to say it. I know he didn’t want to. If I was him, I would have done the same, to hide the truth. And I was so stupid not to see that he was just trying to protect me.’ I responded.

‘Man, you really love him, don’t you?’ She asked.

‘So much, I love him so much it hurts.’ I said.

‘Get some sleep.’ Mel said soothingly and I climbed into bed. For the past few weeks sleep had eluded me, but the jetlag and crying made me fall asleep instantly.

I dreamt that none of this had happened, that I’d gotten on the bus and was traveling the world right now. Waking up made me flood my eyes with tears. Mel was asleep at the end of the bed and I edged out of bed to avoid waking her up. I walked silently over to her bathroom and showered to hide the fact that I was crying. When I got back out, I sat on the bed and studied my surroundings.

Mel’s room was covered in pictures of us, from school, from the holidays and from Cody and I’s visit to England. My mum wasn’t here, she had to leave for her tour, so I’d flown here solo. She’s in Belgium right now, seeing as that’s where I should be with Cody. By the time I’d told her I wasn’t going, she had her own tour locations booked beyond changing. When she left, it was the first time in a while that I’d felt lonely, even though she left on the same day I did. I felt a pang of grief thinking about Cody.

I miss him.

Mel stirred and stretched before sitting upright.

‘How are you?’ She asked.

‘A little better.’ I lied and I moved so she could sit next to me.

‘You’ve never been a very good liar Han.’ She said, leaning over to hug me.

‘I miss him!’ I rasped in her ear, fighting to restrain my tears. She didn’t reply, instead she just sat and hugged me for five minutes straight. She finally broke off and sat back.

‘He misses you too.’ She finally said.

‘How do you know?’ I said, puzzled.

‘Well, where to begin? The way he looks at you, the way he talks about you, tweets about you. The way he nearly cries when you cry, smiles when you do. He loves you, as much as you love him. It’s obvious he’s missing you, the way you’re missing him.’ She said and it was like being hit with a tonne of bricks. In a good way mind you, it was the kick up the butt that I needed.

‘I love him, he loves me.’ I said back. I felt a flood of emotions all at once: grief, happiness, laughter, sadness, stupidity, regret.

‘You miss him, he misses you.’ She replied in the same fashion. I nodded.

‘You two can fix this, because you’re perfect for each other. And I’m not the only one to think it, everybody does! Don’t let him slip away Hannah.’ She said before going to shower, knowing full well that I’d intensively think about what she’d just said. And I did, I thought a lot about it.

‘Don’t let him slip away Hannah.’

I was interrupted by my phone.

Mum: Morning sweetie, I will be in England in two days, hope you’re okay, say hi to Mel for me! X

Two days.

TWO DAYS.

I opened my laptop as fast as I could, two days ringing in my head. If my mum would be here in two days, so would Cody.

I fumbled on the keys and somehow managed to type the name of a ticket website. I slammed ‘CODY SIMPSON’ into the search box and hit enter. Three dates appeared in front of me. Two for the day my mum would be here and one for the day after. My heart rate increased as I clicked on the first one and saw ‘SOLD OUT’ written across it. Then the second. I was practically begging by the time the third one flashed up.

‘Sold out.’