Euphoria || j.hs [Watty's 2018]

Suicide Note #1

(The girl's)

I don't know how to start this...

I am just sorry to be a disappointment to everyone.

I tried really hard to stay alive but I just can't!

Hoseok I'm sorry for leaving you behind and sorry for not telling you this...

But do you remember when i was gone for three days?
My sister's husband had kidnapped me and raped me several times.

I tried to get over it.

I really did.

But I can't fucking bear it!

My sister hates me.

My parents hate me!

They divorced because of me!

My dad used to hit me and always tried to touch me where is didn't want to.

I finally told me mum when I was 10 years old and they got into a huge fight and eventually got a divorce.

At the court both my parents were judged as enable to take care of me and my sister as my dad got into jail for his abusing behaviours and my mum was an alcoholic.

I was raised by my sister from that point on since she was already 18.

And she never forgave me for ruining our happy family and life.

I was the problem.

And after her husband met me he started showing his interest in me and harassed sexually from the age of 15.

I started smoking in hopes to get cancer.

Cutting in hopes to bleed to death.

I was so damn tired of living.

But then you showed up.

You made me happy.

You truly did.

But then... a person like you deserves so much better.

If this is the last time I see you... just know that you were the light in my darkness and my happiness in the sadness.

Because of you I lived so much longer than I expected.

And please stay strong.

I'm not going to say "be happy" because that may be the end of us.

And an ending is never happy.

But just live on and remember me.

That's all I'm asking for.

Goodbye world..

Goodbye life...

Goodbye Hoseok...