Fate Without Time

Chapter 18

Just as I was finishing up with my hair, I heard two gunshots ring out from the living room. I sighed. 'What in the world is Sherlock Holmes up to now?' I thought as I got up and went out of my room and the gunshots continued. I bumped into John on the way downstairs. "He woke you up, too?" he asked. "Yep," I said as we ran towards the landing and stopped at the doorway. Sherlock had painted a smiley face on the wall using the yellow spray can that was so often used in "The Blind Banker. There were two bullet holes at the eyes from the last two shots. And, without looking, Sherlock fired two more, one of them forming a nose on the smiley face. "What the hell are you doing?" asked John. Sherlock mumbled a word that neither of us could hear. "What?" I asked. "Bored!" Sherlock yelled, springing up. "No..." John groaned. "Bored! Bored!" Sherlock yelled as he fired two more gunshots at the wall. Knowing that I couldn't take anymore of this, Sherlock stopped shooting and glared at the smiley face, allowing me to take the bullet out of his hands. "Don't know what's got into the criminal classes. Good job I'm not one of them," said Sherlock as John locked the gun away in a small safe. "So you take it out on the wall?" asked John. "Ah, the wall had it coming," said Sherlock as John took off his coat. "What about that Russian case?" asked John. "Belarus. Open and shut domestic murder. Not worth his time," I said. "Ah, shame!" John said sarcastically. I leaned over to John. "To be honest, it was pretty annoying for me. The guy had a lot of grammar issues," I said. "Now that I can understand," John whispered. Then, he went towards the kitchen, while I went to my usual chair by the couch that Sherlock was laying on. "Morning," I said. Sherlock looked over to me and he obviously noticed my shoes. "I like the shoes," he said. "Thanks. Got them a few days after the Belarus trip," I said. "Anything in? I'm starving," John called from the kitchen. "Is the head still in there?" I asked. "Yup," said Sherlock, popping the 'p'. "In 3...2...1-" "Oh, f..." John stopped as he immediately closed the fridge door. I almost couldn't keep myself from laughing. Sherlock smiled. "It's a head. A severed head," John called out. "Just tea for me, thanks," said Sherlock. "I'll take some coffee. You know how I like it," I said, still holding back my laughter. "No, there's a head in the fridge," said John as he walked back into the living room. "Yes," said Sherlock calmly. "A bloody head!" John exclaimed. I couldn't take it anymore. I burst out laughing. Sherlock and John turned their heads in my direction, looking concerned. "Sorry. Just couldn't help myself," I said. Then, Sherlock and John resumed their conversation. "Well, where else was I supposed to put it? You don't mind, do you?" asked Sherlock. John held his hands up in surrender and went back towards the fridge. "I got it from Bart's morgue," said Sherlock. "He's measuring the coagulation of saliva after death," I added. "I see you've written up the taxi driver case," said Sherlock, vaguely pointing in the direction of a nearby laptop. "Uh, yes," said John. ""A Study in Pink." Nice!" he said. "Well, you know, pink lady, pink case, pink phone – there was a lot of pink. Did you like it?" asked John as Sherlock looked at a nearby magazine. "I did, but he didn't," I said. Sherlock looked up. "How did you know that?" he asked. "You and Mycroft aren't the only ones who can make deductions, remember?" I asked. "Right. Sorry, I forgot," he said. "It's okay," I said. "Sherlock, why didn't you like it? I thought you'd be flattered," said John. "Flattered? "Sherlock sees through everything and everyone in seconds. What's incredible, though, is how spectacularly ignorant he is about some things."," Sherlock quoted. "Now hang on a minute. I didn't mean that in a ..." "Oh, you meant "spectacularly ignorant" in a nice way! Look, it doesn't matter to me who's Prime Minister ..." "I know ..." "... or who's sleeping with who ..." "Whether the Earth goes around the Sun," I said. "Not that again. It's not important," said Sherlock. "Not impor..." John paused as he sat up in his chair. "It's primary school stuff. How can you not know that?" asked John. "Well, if I ever did, I've deleted it," said Sherlock. ""Deleted it"?" I repeated. Then, Sherlock swung his legs around to the floor to face John and I. "Listen," he paused as he pointed to his head with one finger. "This is my hard drive, and it only makes sense to put things in there that are useful ... really useful. Ordinary people fill their heads with all kinds of rubbish, and that makes it hard to get at the stuff that matters. Do you see?" asked Sherlock. I nodded, understanding what Sherlock was saying. "But it's the solar system!" John exclaimed. "Oh, hell! What does that matter?! So we go round the Sun! If we went round the Moon, or round and round the garden like a teddy bear, it wouldn't make any difference. All that matters to me is the work. Without that, my brain rots. Put that in your blog. Or better still, stop inflicting your opinions on the world," said Sherlock as he put the magazine on the table and laid back down on the couch. Then, John started to leave. "Where are you going?" I asked. "Out. I need some air," said John as he left. Just then, Mrs. Hudson came up. "Ooh-ooh!" she said as she knocked. "Good morning, Mrs. Hudson," I said. "Good morning, Alis! How did you sleep?" she asked. "Quite well, thank you. Let me take those for you," I said as I took the shopping bags from her and put them in the kitchen. "Oh, you're such a dear, Alis! You're like a nicer version of Sherlock," said Mrs. Hudson. "You do realize that I can hear both of you, right?" asked Sherlock from his spot by the window. "Sorry, Sherlock. Have you and John had a little domestic?" she asked. "It's a long story," I said as I went over to Sherlock, who was watching John walk away. "Look at that, Mrs Hudson. Quiet, calm, peaceful. Isn't it hateful?" asked Sherlock. "Oh, I'm sure something'll turn up, Sherlock. A nice murder – that'll cheer you up," said Mrs. Hudson. "Can't come too soon," I said. "Hey. What've you done to my bloody wall?!" Mrs. Hudson exclaimed. "Sherlock did it, not me," I said, pointing at him. "I'm putting this on your rent, young man!" Mrs. Hudson exclaimed as she left. Then, Sherlock and I walked over to the smiley face and grinned at it. Suddenly, we heard a huge explosion that caused the windows to blow in. The blast knocked both of us to the floor, and I'm pretty sure I hurt my neck, if I didn't get whiplash. My left wrist hurt pretty bad because I tried to use it to break my fall. "Ow," I said. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was Sherlock rushing over to me, looking very concerned.