Maybe This Time

Sorry

Beatriz

*ring*
*ring*
*ring*

"Fuck." Shit Kianna's calling and it's what? 6:00 AM and i just woke up!! I am so dead 🤦‍♀️. "uh hello babe? I'm otw already okay just hang in there i'll be there soon i promise." I said panicking. Ugh i said im gonna make bawi but i messed up again! Ano ba naman beatriz.

"Really? 5am pa gusto mo ha? Alam mo beatriz i've had enough. Im trying to understand you because i know your position. In case you forgot student-athlete din ako pero grabe naman ata yung sayo even in your free times parang wala lang ako sayo. As your "girlfriend" are you that numb? Di ka ba makaramdam or you just dont know me anymore. I tried my best to understand pero paulit ulit reasons mo; si jho, pagod sa training, schoolworks? What more? If you cant even be there for me every time I, your "girlfriend", need you then I guess that's it. Im so done. Dont waste your time on me and i wont waste my time on yours" Kianna said without even letting me speak or say sorry. Im so shocked like wth dude i just woke up. All i can say is i fucked up big time.

Kianna
"... I'm so done. Dont waste your time on me and i wont waste my time on yours." I said as i end the call. Woah this hurts. It's 6 in the morning and this is how i start my day. I. NEED. MY. COFFEE.

"Oh kianna ang aga aga mugto mata mo dyan HAHAHA kinalimutan ka nanaman no? Make up make up ka pa kumain ka na dito ng breakfast!" Ate kim teased as i go down the stairs. Well since kakatapos palang namin magusap wala pa sakanilang may alam that i broke up with bea already. But kahit ako yung nagend ng relationship namin masakait padin no kaya eto, di na ko nagreact sa sinabi ni ate kimmy umupo nalang ako beside her and cried. As in cried out loud.

"Hala joke lang huy! Bat ka umiiyak? Eto naman parang di sanay sakin. Sorry na joke lang yun okay ka lang ba? Seryoso ano problema" Ate kimmy.

"Kim ano nanaman ginawa mo kay kianna nako." Ate yeye said.

"Huy baket ka umiiyak? Ang aga aga swish. Sabihin mo na anong problema tatawagin ko si ate aby papabugbog natin dali." Majoy said.

I felt how sincere they are naman pero pag sinabi ko feeling ko di na sila magugulat. These past few weeks sila yung laging nandyan for me. Nung nagkaproblem sa family ko at bigla ako magbe-breakdown they were there for me every time bea wont reply to me. "I ended it. I broke up with bea." I manage to say before crying out loud again.

"Kianna andito lang kami para sayo. Gamitin mo nalang 'to bilang motivation sa training. Dun mo ilabas lahat. Babawi tayo okay? Babawian natin yan papaiyakin din natin. Wag ka na umiyak kaming bahala sayo." Ate yeye said while hugging me.

"Eto naman paalala ko lang si kianna at bea yung nagbreak ha. Baket parang pati ikaw may gustong bawian at paiyakin this season? Pero yun na nga wag ka na umiyak dyan! Kaming bahala sayo." Ate kimmy joked trying to lighten the mood. Pero actually napansin ko din yon baket parang may something din sa sinabi ni ate mika? Well.

They're right. Ive been thinking about this break up for awhile na. Ive had enough na din talaga and it hurts. Imagine talo ko sa "best friend" niya na mas late niya nameet kesa sakin when it comes to her time. "Thank you guys. It hurts kasi i love her. Pero feeling ko siya? She doesn't love me anymore. Maybe she just got used to me kaya di niya ko maiwan. But this is for myself. I know my worth and i know what i deserve. Babawi tayo ate ye😉" with a little laugh. Si ate mika naman hinampas pa ko sa shoulder lightly. But yah i'll just focus sa trainings muna and dun ko nalang ilalabas lahat.