Maybe This Time

Big Day

Beatriz

Today is the day. It's the-freaking-start of the season. I woke up pumped and energized feeling ready for this season. Big game today, what a welcome back. I thought.

"Are you guys ready? Let's go and settle ourselves in the bus na." Ate Ly announced and as usual, I sat beside Jho.

"Ikaw ready ka na?" Jho asked me and I know what she means. I just smiled at her. "Bawal kabahan! Kasi ako kinakabahan di nga ko agad nakatulog kagabi eh buti nalang pagod din ako hahaha" Jho tried to cheered me up. "Sus beh dont be nervous. Idol kaya kita, ikaw pa? Rest na muna tayo while on the way?" I assured Jho. Her volleyball skills are undeniable. Nervous or not she's good wag lang siya madistract or magdoubt sa sarili niya kasi medyo natutulala siya.

We're now here at Mall of Asia Arena. We had lunch first pero dito nalang din sa dug out, our team have some baon for us to eat, syempre kelangan healthy and not too heavy. Now we are just relaxing, paalisin yung kaba sort of. "Beh" I called Jho as I handed her a bar of chocolate. We have the same pre-game ritual, chocolates for some extra energy. "Thank you beh!" She said. Wow energetic. "Beh paayos natin kay Pongs hair mo. Braid natin hahaha" she added. "No oh my gosh. I'm fine with my ponytail" and then the the whole team started convincing me already. "Oo nga Bei dali! Para pag nakita ka ni Kianna mamaya new look" some of them said🤦‍♀️ "Sorry guys maybe next time. I need extra confidence today" They laughed and we all started to prepare. Fix our hair, our own pre-game rituals, meditate, and off we go to the court. This is it.

I love hearing the pep band every time I step on the court. I've loved the Ateneo-La Salle rivalry since then, and you guys know why. But like what everybody has been telling me, this time it's different. I am going against someone who was once my everything. I'm doing my best to focus on the warm up and not let that fact affect me and add to my nerves, but seeing her on the other side of the court, smiling, happy, still the same-old powerful smiles, I can't help but space out. "Relax, I got you.😊" Jho patted my back.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the UAAP Season 78 Women's Volleyball Tournament! For our first match, defending champions, the Ateneo Lady Eagles versus last year's first runner up, the De La Salle Lady Spikers!"

"Starting line up for the Ateneo Lady Eagles,
# 17, Maddie Madayag
# 14, Bea de Leon
# 15, Jhoana Maraguinot
#12, Jia Morado
#16, Amy Ahomiro
#2, team captain, Alyssa Valdez
Libero, #6, Jamie Lavitoria.

Starting line up for the De La Salle Lady Spikers,
#11, Kim Kianna Dy
#15, Tin Tiamzon
#10, Majoy Baron
#9, team captain, Kim Fajardo
#8, the returning, Ara Galang
#3, Mika Reyes
Libero, #5, Dawn Macandili"

The moment I heard Kianna's name I spaced out. I'm not ready for this. "Bei" Ate Ly called my attention then they all smiled at me. I smiled back assuring them that I'm okay. Well it is what it is.

We lost the 1st set and it was sooo close. We were up against them until the 2nd technical time out but grabe yung energy nilang LAHAT, as in all of them. And apparently magkasabay pa kami sa rotation, every time I'm in front Kianna is also in front, and goddamn her angles are so on point I can't block her! One idle time she looked at me from the other side of the net with a blank face. She doesn't seem affected. How?

We are done meditating before the start of the second set we're just here at the sideline waiting for the referee's whistle. Jho suddenly hugged me. "Hey don't worry. I'm good😊" I said with a big smile and hugged her back. Coach Tai's meditation really helps. I was able to focus on the game and to not think about Kianna for awhile. If I can't get her might as well focus on my attacks and focus on blocking others din.

2nd set turned out way worse than the 1st. Gigil maybe? I also don't know why and how but there's really something with the opponent's energy right now. Di namin sila masabayan like everything is going their way. I don't want to sound defeated already but it is the truth. "Guys relax lang tayo. One point at a time okay? Tulungan tayo laban lang di pa tapos 'to. Let's claim this set girls." Ate Ly said before we meditate.

3rd set we are finally playing better than the previous sets! Still have some reception problems but we can handle it better this time! We all had some good hits, especially Jho. She's at her best this set, which everybody loves, but so as Kianna.

In the end, we lost in straight sets. I'm pretty sure we did our best. Maybe they just wanted it more this time. When it was time to shake hands with Kianna I tried to talk to her. "You did great Kianns, I'm proud of you😊" But she just smiled at me, a sweet smile that I miss. She seems to be better off without me.

Di ako sumabay sa team going back to Ateneo because my family fetched me and we'll have dinner pa somewhere near. I invited Jho for dinner na din because I know that she's not satisfied with her performance today PLUS my fam misses her already even though she's been gone for like 5 days palang.

As expected, fans have gone wild. I held Jho's hand while running to the parking area so that we won't lose each other. "You okay? That was wild!" I asked Jho as soon as we get into the car. Fans ran after us up until the escalator, there were some security who saw us and helped me and Jho. If we had time we'd love to take pictures with them as well.  Kaya lang it's getting late already we have dinner with my family and training tomorrow morning so we had to rush. Feels bad though because we appreciate them so much, I hope they understand.

"Mga anak how are you two?" Dad asked. I know he's pertaining about the game. "We fell short dad. We weren't expecting their energy today sa court. Maybe masyado din kami nang-gigil?" I said. "True tito! Hirap nila sabayan kanina jusko malamangan namin o hindi ang taas ng energy parang ako yung pagod para sakanila" Jho said. "It's okay you two. Baka nga gigil. At least you guys know already kung pano sila kalaban this season based on your first hand experience na. May 2nd round pa and I believe in you and the team." Dad told us.

Dinner eventually went on. Medyo ginabi kami than expected that's why they told Jho to stay over na din. Just like what I said awhile ago, they missed Jho and it seems like Jho misses them also. I know right I'm the daughter pero minsan I'm wondering, am I really the de Leon here or is it Jho de Leon?

"You did great kanina! Idol talaga" I told Jho. We're just chilling now here in my room before going to sleep. "Hmm dami ko daw errors sabi nila" she said while looking at her phone. Here she goes again, iddoubt na niyan self niya. "Ano ka ba it's normal for us to have some errors din. Don't mind those people because they're not the one who's playing naman. They don't know what it really feels like inside the court at that moment so just let it pass. You know yourself better, we know you better, our coaches know you better. You're good okay?" I told her and she sighed. "Thank you for always believing in me😊 anyway, galing mo din kanina! Kahit ang dalas mag space out dahil kay Kianna🤦‍♀️" she added.

"I admit it. I miss her." I smiled bitterly.