"Alex." Malcom's voice had changed. He was soft and caring now. He sat next to me and put a hand on my shoulder.
"Turn it off." He whispered.
"What?" I asked, tears still pouring from my eyes.
"Turn them off." He repeated. He wanted me to turn my emotions off. If I did that, nothing would hurt anymore. My heart wouln't feel like this, my head would stop pounding, breathing wouldn't feel pointless. if I did this, it won't hurt anymore. I blinked at him.
Just turn it off, Alex
My vampire side was winning. Gradually I could feel it hurt less and less. Then nothing. There was no emotion. I just didn't care. I felt neither happiness nor sadness. It was quite a relief.
"Good job!" Malcom cried happily. I wan't filled with hatred like I normally am when I look at him.
"ALEX!" I heard someone scream. I turned to see my three former best friends rushing up to me. They took one look at me and knew.
"Oh no." Rian whispered. I felt no remorse, no shame. I just shrugged and stood up, letting Jess's limp body fall off of me.
"Jessica!" Malcom called. 'Jess' got up off the ground and removed a mask, revealing her true face, it was Angelina. Andrew walked out from behind the sand dunes with the real, struggling, Jess. But my heart didn't fill with joy at the sight of her. As soon as she was released, she bolted to me.
"Alex!" She cried, running up to me. She placed her hands on my face and looked into my eyes but I didn't feel sparks like I used to. My heart didn't fly at her touch. I felt nothing but indifference. "Lex?" She asked, hopelessness filling her eyes. I just stared back emptily. "No." She whispered in a soft voice. She hugged me but my emotions didn't sore like they used to. I didn't hug her back, I just stared at the guys who all looked like they'd just been punched in the gut.
"Yeah okay, I'll be headed back now." I stated, tearing Jess off of me and walking back.
"Why doesn't he just turn them back on? I'm alive!" I asked the guys once we'd gotten back, surprisingly Malcom had let us go.
"He turned them off because the thought of you not being alive, along with all the pain he's had previously, was too much for him to handle. But now that they're off, he just doesn't care whether you're alive or not." Jack explained sadly, rubbing my back.
"But it's not just you. He doesn't care about anything. You could kill his on mother, if she were alive, in front of him and he wouldn't do anything to save her. He'd just watch." Zack said.
"How do we get him to turn them back on?" I asked.
"He has to do it. He has to want to, so there has to be a reason for him to care. But he's Alex, He's had his emotions off for the better part of one hundred fifty years so god knows when he'll turn them on again." Jack mumbled. I sighed hopelessly.
"What are we going to do?" I asked.
"I honestly don't know." Rian said hopelessly.
"What did you do to get his emotions on last time?" I asked. The boys fell silent.
"What happened?" I asked, sensing something grim had occurred.
"He killed me." Zack mumbled.
"What?" I asked. The boys fell silent, this was Zack's story.
"I had drunk Rian's blood earlier because I'd gotten hurt but then I pissed off Alex and he snapped my neck. He didn't know about the blood and he really thought I was gone." Zack explained.
"So something incredibly violent or heartbreaking has to happen before he turns them on again?" I asked.
"Basically." Jack confirmed.
"Great." I mumbled sarcastically. I walked slowly back to my house, hating everything. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't Alex and I be together for at least a week before something like this? I trudged up my porch steps and as soon as I opened the door, Ashley flung her arms around me.
"Jack told me everything." She murmured in my ear. I sighed and hugged her back, then Dylan came up to us and engulfed us both in a hug. We decided to move the comforting party upstairs before Alex walked in on us. That night Ashley, Dylan, and I all slept on my bed together.
I untangled myself from Dylan and Ashley's mass of limbs and trudged downstairs. Alex stood by his coffee maker just like he did every morning. My eyes threatened to well up because the Alex I love isn't there. His eyes don't have that spark they used to. I padded onto the kitchen's hard wood floor and made my tea.
"Morning." I greeted.
"Hey." He mumbled, not looking up from his phone.
"What are you doing today?" I asked, trying to make conversation and hopping up onto the counter.
"Meeting Malcom." He shrugged. I froze, my heart stopped beating.
"What?" I croaked.
"I'm...Meeting...Malcom. God do I have to spell it out for you?" He snapped. I was a bit taken back at his rudeness but I recovered quickly, something I've always been able to do.
"Listen here you asshole. Don't blame me for being surprised that you're meeting the man who turned you, made several attempts on the lives of your friends, and killed your fucking family!" I exclaimed. He just shrugged absentmindedly, still on his phone. "Alex, your friends." I squeaked quietly.
"You say that as if I'm supposed to care." He sighed, finally looking at me, cocking an eyebrow.
"Yeah you're supposed to care, it's Jack, Rian, and Zack!" I cried, jumping off the counter.
"And I don't care! They mean nothing to me!" He exclaimed, getting frustrated.
"How can you say that! They're your best friends! They've looked after you for the past century! I've loved you for the past four months! How can that mean nothing!" I cried, refusing to let tears escape my eyes.
"Jess, I understand your concern. But I don't care about them. I literally never cared about anything less, than you. You mean nothing to me. Absolutely nothing. I could kill you now and not think twice. You can beg and plead, and cry all you want but nothing will change the fact that I don't fucking care." He explained calmly. I searched his eyes for any trace of my Alex, but I was met with nothing but a cold empty shadow of the man I love. Tears poured down my cheeks. I choked on sobs while looking at him. No sob or cry could convey how much this hurt. No amount of begging could make a person understand how badly I want my Alex back. I nodded and walked out of the building, not really sure where I was going. Somehow I made my way to the guy's house. I found myself knocking on their door lightly. Alex's news had made me numb to everything except my feelings.
"Who is it?" Zack asked.
"Could you open the door?" I asked quietly, if he hadn't had vampire hearing, there's no chance he'd have heard me. The door opened and Zack's worried expression was revealed.
"What's wrong?" He asked softly.
"I-I just." I stammered, looking down at the black VANS which were on my feet.
"Come here." he murmured before pulling me into a hug. I squeezed back as hard as I could, burying my face into his chest. Over time, Rian came in, followed by Jack. They saw our group hug and joined in.
"I want him back." I whispered against the soft fabric of Zack's shirt.
"We do too." Jack mumbled.
~~~~~~~~~~
Title cred: Sunburn by Ed Sheeren
