My Heart Beats Faster

Chapter 15 - Depressed

Alexandra was released from the hospital. Unfortunately for both of us, the doctor said for minimum exercise. That excluded soccer. Maybe a just a jog, he said. He said for maybe a month or so. Fortunately, soccer season had ended. But I had a feeling Alexandra's feelings were gonna get all bottled up again. And this time it wasn't for just a week, it was for a month. Or more. The doctor just told me though, not Alexandra. I don't know how to break it to her.

We arrived home in 15 minutes.

“Dev, let's go play soccer!” she said excitedly. It was like she was a little kid again.

“Looks like it might rain though,” I told her. This time it did. There were dark ominous clouds in the sky.

“Just for a little?”

“But I don't want you catching a cold.”

“Fine,” she pouted. I would've said yes if there weren't clouds and the doctor's words didn't echo in my head.

27 minutes earlier

“Oh, Devin, good,” the doctor said.

“Um, hello doctor,” I greeted nervously.

“I have something you need to know.”

“What is it about?”

“Alexandra.”

“Oh.”

“Alexandra right now is very fragile. I know she loves soccer, and this might be hard, but don't let her play.”

“Why not?”

“Let me finish first.”

“Sorry.”

“Her leg is actually worse than we thought. It may have been just a few pulled muscles and an asthma attack, but truthfully, I think it was more than that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think, by what I've heard about her, is that she's suffering from depression.”

“I can't say that I disagree with that.” It was true. Alexandra had spent a lot more time alone and a lot less time smiling. I wanted to deny it though.

“Well because you seem to be closest to her, I think that you should help her. And the depression has done no good to her injury. I think it has made it worse than it was.”

“Worse than it was?”

“I think it was actually nothing at first, as all injuries are. But then I think she must've been a little hard on herself and the result was just a sore muscle. Her depression caused her to be even harder on herself, the sore muscles became pulled muscles. The muscles in pain caused her to think she wasn't good enough, and more depression occurred.”

“But Alexandra is a happy, care-free person!” There was the denial.

“From what I've heard about her from the past few weeks, she's anything but happy.”

“But why?”

“I actually think one reason is you, Devin.”

“Me?”

“I heard her talking in her sleep. All she talked about was you. Some were sing songy 'he's perfect, my one and only, he's perfection in a guy'. Others seemed kinda serious like 'yes, Devin I'll be yours forever and always'. Devin I think one of the reasons that she's depressed is...”

“That she's not my girlfriend,” I finished for the doctor.

“No, Devin, I think she wants to be yours and you to be hers... for forever.”