My Heart Beats Faster

Chapter 17 - Invisible

Warning: Angsty chapter! There's some self induced harm. Not much, though.  I would say skip this chapter if you want, but there's an important part. Sorry.

“Eek!” I heard her suddenly shout. I was in Jake's car and I found Alexandra. She had hurt herself.

“Why did you do this to yourself?” I ask pointing at the cut in her wrist. I wasn't big, nor was it deep. It was bleeding though and it scared me.

“I thought everything would go away if I felt pain. Just pain,” she said, sadly. I was so disappointed in her. She had cut herself, probably with keys. I felt like I couldn't ever trust her alone. She had changed so much.

“You know that's not true.”

“I know, but sometimes I believe it is.”

I sighed. There was one way I could calm her down, and I really didn't like it. I loved doing it, but not in front of other people. Here we go again.

Do you ever wonder, when you listen to the thunder

And your world just feels so small

Put yourself on the line and time after time

Keep feeling inside that they don't know you're alive

Are you out of mind or just invisible

But I won't let you fall

I'll see you, through them all

And I just wanna let you know

Oh, when the lights go down in the city

You'll be right there shining bright

You're a star and the sky's the limit

And I'll be right by your side

Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me

(Oh, you know) you're not gonna be invisible

Do you ever think of, what you're standing at the brink of

Feel like giving up, but you just can't walk away

Night after night, always trying to decide

Are you gonna speak out or get lost in the crowd

Do you take a chance or stay invisible?

But I won't let you fall

I'll see you, through them all

And I just wanna let you know

Oh, when the lights go down in the city

You'll be right there, shining bright

You're a star and the sky's the limit

And I'll be right by your side

Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me

Oh, you know, you're not gonna be invisible

Gotta look far, I'll be where you are

I wish you could see what I see

So don't ask why, just look inside

Baby it's all you need

And I don't understand why you won't (you won't)

Take my hand and go

Cause you're so beautiful

And every time that

Oh, when the lights go down in the city

You'll be right there shining bright

You're a star and the sky's the limit

And I'll be right by your side

Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me

(Oh, you know) you're not gonna be invisible

Oh, when the lights go down in the city

You'll be right there shining bright (shining bright)

You're a star and the sky's the limit (Sky's the limit, yeah)

And I'll be right by your side

Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me

(Oh, you know) you're not gonna be invisible

“Your not invisible to me, Lex.” I just held her close, for a moment before realizing something. “Crap, you're still bleeding.” Sudden surprise crossed her face, then left. That was the first time in my two years “knowing” her that she ever looked surprised. I pulled off my shirt and lightly wrapped it around her wrist. The cut wasn't that deep, thank god, but it still needed to clotted. I caught her staring. At me? Yes, for sure me, there was nothing else to stare at. “Like?” I joked.

“Erm.. Well.. Um,” she stuttered. That was also the first time I heard her nervous. I changed the subject though.

“We should get going. We're still in Jake's car y'know.” Then I picked her up bridal style, and could her a small gasp escape her mouth. Maybe, just maybe, I would finally get the girl I've been waiting for, for two years.

Two years earlier

I walked in my history class, with some friends I met along the way. It was the first day of high school, and I was so nervous. We sat in the back, not really wanting to get any attention. Then the most beautiful girl I've ever seen walked in the room. She had a couple friends, too, but they were very unlike me. They were a little loud, a little sassy, and very happy. I wish I could make friends that easily. They sat in front, right in front of the projector. I sighed, I was way too nervous to approach her.

“Hello students! I am your history teacher, Mr. Cegelski! You can call me Mr. C, though. Let's start with a bit get to know each other,” the teacher, Mr. C, had said. Pretty normal, get to know each other. Every student stood up and said something about themselves. Before I knew it, it was my turn.

“Um, I'm Devin. I love soccer,” I said. That was just so boring, no one would remember me. Then some more people went and it was her turn.

“Hey everyone, it's Alexandra. Call me Alex. I believe the best calorie burner is laughing so hard, your literally on the floor rolling!” she said. The class burst out laughing. She then added, “See? Best calorie burner!” Everyone will remember her. She'll become the most popular girl in school, I can just tell from looking at her. I believe in love at first sight, for at the moment I fell in love. But I was invisible.

Back to Present

“Dev, can you take me home? Pretty please, Jelly Bean!” she asked as we got out of Jake's car. He only winked at me as we left. I was about to put her down then she added, “No, carry me!” I sighed and carried her home. Alexandra wasn't heavy, but the weight was nice. Mental note: take away her keys.