Carnation [PJM] *EDITING*

day 15

I went to the hospital today, we're planning on booking the surgery early December.

At least I'll still be able to celebrate my birthday when I truly love someone, right?

Sometimes I wonder, if you would end up reading this, if you do find it, would you read it? Would you even care about the pain you've put me through?

Maybe, if we hadn't become friends all those years ago, I wouldn't be suffering such pain.

If my parents didn't die, we wouldn't have been this close.

But, then I remember all the fun we had, in high school, out of high school, and I know why I love you so badly.

Half the time my mind doesn't process why I'm coughing up so much flowers, but when the pain becomes so much, it remembers.

I remember.

[18//11//05]