Carnation [PJM] *EDITING*

day 19

I've just finished packing my bag for the hospital, you thought I was on a trip by myself, its sure going to be a journey, I just won't be leaving the city.

This may be the last note I write, or it will be the last note I write while I'm in love with you, I've decided that I'll give my journal to Jungkook, and once the surgery is over and he feels like the time is right. He would have given this to you.

Do you understand, Jimin? Please don't feel sorry for me, its defiantly more my fault I've fallen love with you, but its still my decision to fall out of love with you.

I want to say thank you Jimin. Thank you for being my first true best friend, my first true love, and most of all, helping me realise I have to start fighting my own battles, I may become wounded, no longer able to walk, talk, see, hear, but I will know that the journey, was what mattered.

I wish I had told you Jimin, god I'm crying, but I didn't want you to feel forced to love me, I wanted the love you would feel to be true, whether it was from me or someone else, you would be granted it.

I thought that I would be strong while writing this, but I've become broken over these months, but I've got to start healing, and this surgery is just the beginning.

Park Jimin, I love that I love you, but I hate that its killing me from within.

I love you Park Jimin, goodbye.

[18//11//26]

*its not the end lol, and yes I was actually crying while writing this*