Carnation [PJM] *EDITING*

day four

It had barely been a week, and I had only seen you once, every time I tried to organize something, you were always busy with her. And that one time I saw you, you talked about her, talked about how beautiful she was, how she made your heart race whenever you saw her. How amazing her personality was, how you thought she was the one you'd be with forever.

I knew I would never be that person. Over the week, I had been coughing up the light red carnation petals more often, they were slowly collecting under my pillow along with Jungkooks who's were under the other pillow. I saw Jungkook more than you,Jimin, and currently, I may even know him better than I know you, better than any of the boys know him.

It was possible for the pain that we felt for different people, to bring us closer. But the pain I felt for you, and the love you felt for her, ripped us apart. And I really wished you knew what was happening to me, because maybe you'll help me. But it wouldn't happen, you would know when you're reading this.

I haven't told you, but I will know, Jimin.

I have Hanahaki, Jimin. You know, that really rare disease where you cough up flowers when you fall in love, when its an unrequited love. I feel that for you, Jimin, and I'm sorry I did, because it ruined us.

But more importantly, you ruined me.

[18//09//20]