Affection | N.H

Chapter 18

("Believe in yourself and go for it." -Emma Watson)

Is it Monday? Shoot.

My body still aches. I think I have to go see the doctor today to get these hideous bandages off.

The alarm clock beside my bed says its 6:30 am in the morning. I have plenty of time until my first lesson starts.

If I go down to the bathrooms now, I can take a shower peacefully as no girl in this building wakes up at this hour. I lazily take my bum off the bed and grab some clothes from my side of the closet. Sophie's side is a mess.

Sophie didn't return last night either. Does she even live in the dorms?

I go with some jeans and a full sleeved plaid shirt. I can't dress up in shorts and tank tops like those normal teenagers in autumn.

..

Showers are always good in the morning. I begin to brush the brown mess on my head when I suddenly spot Sophie's make up kit on her bedside table.

I don't know why, I have an urge to look good today. Something clicks inside me and the next thing I know is there is a bit of eyeliner on top of my eyelids.

Grabbing my bag with my necessities for today, I lock and exit the dorm room.

..

Sophie's purple head is visible as soon as I enter the campus. She is sitting on Niall's lap at a bench with Harry and Sabrina in front of them.

What made me think Niall and I had a thing?

I take in a deep breath before attempting to walk past them.

"Hey! Look who's here!" It's Sophie.

"Hey." I plainly respond, pulling my bag over my shoulder.

"Why the fuck have you got that hideous shirt on?" Sophie sits back closely to Niall before placing a kiss on his cheek.

"And those jeans.." Niall mutters.

Sabrina, Harry, Sophie and Niall himself burst into laughter making people passing by glance at this little group of people.

"Oh babe, you're funny." Sophie says before shifting on Niall's lap. She snakes her arm around Niall's neck and starts kissing him on his lips.

I fasten my pace towards the toilet as I can feel the tears pricking behind my eyes. I shut the door behind me and let all the tears roll down my cheeks. The huge mirror ahead of me reflects my hideous appearance. I turn on the tap and rub off the eyeliner from my eyes. I take a tissue afterwards to wipe away the leftover marks.

..

Louis is not here today. Which means I have to spend maths, literature and music all on my own. I sit on the same spot beside the window but today there is an empty seat beside me where Louis usually sits.

Our maths teacher, Mr Lindsay gives us one more assignment which is due in a week.

What happened this morning? Why did Niall humiliate me in front of his friends? He already insults me enough. I don't think I will be able to trust people in this cursed place.

As soon as the bell rings, I text Louis asking him why he isn't here today.

*please tell me you're alive."

*I have an appointment with the dentist. Miss me already? Haha. x*

"I am all on my own. Make sure to look after your teeth next time, Tomlinson. x*

I put my phone away and make my way to Literature. I wonder how many things I have missed out on.

"Tarisha! My dear! How are you? Why weren't you here the last two days?" Ms Munn asks me as soon as I enter the almost empty classroom.

"Umm, I was kinda sick. Thanks for asking though." I smile. "Take care darling." She puts her hand on my arm but removes it as soon as she notices my discomfort. "Sorry." I say before leaving her confused.

I take a seat at the front row and watch Ms Munn's mouth parting and closing. My ears are blocked and the only thing that going on in my head is, Niall. Why did he do this to me? Why? He said I looked good in those jeans. What happened to that? And this is not me. I never cared about make up. I never looked in the mirror a hundred times in the morning. The only thing I did in college was listen to the teacher talk. I was the one who handed up assignments two weeks early. But it seems like that me is lost somewhere in the crowd. I am not happy with this new Tarisha who goes out on a 'date' with a guy who crushes her soul ever time.

After literature ends, I head straight to music. I didn't attend any of my music classes until now. I have missed out on a lot. See? This is not me either. I never ever miss any lessons. Ever.

The ground beneath my feet vanishes and for a moment I feel like I am pushed off a cliff. Niall is sitting there at the back of the class. He removes the pen from his mouth as soon as he spots me at the doorway. His eyes are taken away from me and he pretends not to notice my presence.

"You must be Tarisha!" A squeaky voice makes me turn around.

"Yes, I am."

"Oh sweetheart. I am Ms Forbes and I will be your Music teacher." She smiles putting down her guitar on the chair behind the table.

"Nice to meet you." I say politely.

I refuse to look back at the blonde boy sitting at the back of the class. I take a seat at the front and try to listen to whatever Ms Forbes is talking about.

I fail, and once again my ears are blocked out and the only thing I can think of is Niall. Thank goodness the bell goes off. I hurry to my feet and make my way outside in the hallway.

"Tarisha!" A strong accent comes from my back.

No Tarisha, don't turn around. Keep walking, please.

Fingers wrap around my arm and I am forced to stop and turn around. "What the fuck? Don't you hear me?" He shouts on my face.

The people walking past don't seem to care at all.

"Answer me-"

"What should I answer Niall? You hurt me. Then you let me stay at your house. You take me out. You say I look good. And then in one single minute you crush me beneath your feet? Who do you think you are?" I snatch my arm away from his grip.

There is no sign of regret behind his features. "Why do you care? I thought we were fuck buddies too?" He raises his brow.

"Oh my god Niall! I can't believe you! Wait..did you just..did you just say that?" Suddenly I felt my lungs stop functioning and moisture dripping from my skin.

"You, you okay?" Niall asks ready to catch me if I fall. I am not giving him any more chances. He already had enough. But, I need, I need oxygen.

"Look, I'm sorry-" before he finished his sentence, I lost control of my body and my eyes closed shut.

..

"Yeah, don't worry, she's no one." It's Niall's voice. Who is he talking about?

I open my eyes slowly to find myself on my dorm bed. Niall and Sophie are sitting on Sophie's bed, talking to each other. I close my eyes again, to listen to the conversation.

"What do you mean Niall? I mean why would you bring her here? You could've left her laying on the ground! She is annoying as fuck!" Sophie whisper shouts.

"I just want to sleep with her. That's it. Why the heck do you think I am still around her? I mean she is not even that good looking if you see." Niall's words pierce right through my heart. Did those words just come out of his mouth? Did he actually mean each syllable?

"You have me to sleep with babe. Why do you need anyone else?" Sophie's voice speaks. I squint through my eyes and see Sophie climbing on Niall's lap.

"Make love to me babe." I hear Sophie say before losing my consciousness again.