The Wrong Girl

Chapter 26: Make It or Break It?

Evan ran like he was in a battle that all his training had prepared him for. Evan had the most important thing of his life in his arms and all he wanted was for her to get a life of her own, without his burden boring on her, without her getting hurt.

When Evan reached his room, Elena was ice-cold. Years of training didn't do any good to him, he was taught not to panic in even the most penetrating moments, but panic was all he could feel creeping up his body. As he laid the lump body of the girl he loved he saw his fingers tremble with the blurring vision. A whole year, he had denied the pleasure of letting those tears fall, assuring and reassuring himself what he had done was the best gift Elena could receive. Now she can spend more time with her friends like she's supposed to, now she can go to any college she choose, she won't be called a knock out case, she'll be what she decides best for her, Evan had replayed those thoughts almost every passing day but it had all come down to this again hurting Elena.

Why had he come back to this college where he knew Elena was studying? After almost a year of restrain why couldn't he just have let her move on? He shook his head and shook the tears away, as he changed Elena's cold clothes into his trousers and hoods. Elena looked like she was in a serene sleep, but her cold hands and feet told another story.

When Evan returned to his room after fetching the medicines and chicken soup, Elena was awake and looked immensely tired but still had the stubborn face which he recognized all too well. She wants to talk, Evan thought with a silent repentance.

"You should get some sleep Elena, you're not well..."

"What did you mean when you said, 'I'm done being selfish'?" Elena whispered her thoughts silently as if Evan hadn't made any remark about her health.

"You need to rest, Ely. You need sleep... and we can talk about it when you wake up okay?" It took every strain in his muscles to not call her honey as he was used to, as he wanted to.

"But..." Elena's eyes were shimmering even in the dim lights; he could clearly see her trembling lips and Evan knew exactly what she was thinking of.

"I'll be here when you wake up. And then we can talk about everything you want to talk about, okay honey?"

At the familiar tone of his love and care, Elena's hope lifted up and it was visible on her face that showed both content and surprise, but Evan couldn't face her. He looked away immediately and stayed the same until he heard the ruffling of blankets and a sleepy "goodnight".

He dared a glance at Elena and made sure she was sound asleep. Evan didn't go to sleep, he wasn't planning on it. He stayed up all night checking her temperature, changing pieces of cold cloth to her forehead, until he couldn't open his eyes and move another inch. Evan fell asleep on the side of the bed, with his head resting just about an inch away from Elena's hand, almost as if he wanted her even if only mistakenly to caress his head once again the way she used to. Evan was tired, but somehow he had finally found out what he needed the most, his inner peace with Elena at an arms distance from him.

As he drifted to sleep, he silently made a stern decision, to never leave Elena again.

When Elena woke up, the first thing she felt was the familiar feel of the silky hair that her palms were resting in. Elena was groggy but awake, sad but somehow satisfied. She finally got the answers to the haunting questions she was living with for the past months, she had finally came to a full circle. But where had the answers left her? One more question with no visible answer? What does she want now?

She was there once again with the guy who she thought had left her, with the guy she loved impossibly. Her thoughts were spinning. In the mixed confusion of the way she was supposed to be feeling, she found herself both crying and smiling at the same time. She knew she still loved Evan, but she knew it wasn't going to be the same between them ever... She couldn't just let him in her life just like that. Could she?

Why can't I? She asked herself.

Because he left you... and...

And what? He came back didn't he?

Yeah but...

But what?

But I... I... I don't know....

Evan's resting head jerked up throwing Elena's hand away. Both of them now wide awake, wishing they were sleeping once again where they could be safe in their own dream world, dreaming of each other without any other worry to disturb. But the room suddenly had a huge elephant in it, and they could do nothing more than to try to hide it behind the lacy curtains and keep their eyes away from each other.

But no matter what they did to avoid it, they both knew even after going through a huge turbulence in their relationship, they were once again at another crossroad that would either make or break them.

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