Beyond the Reasons || JUSTIN FOLEY

Twenty-Four

FLASHBACK
SOPHOMORE YEAR
COMMUNICATION'S CLASS
IMOGEN'S POV

In my communications class, we all sat at desks that were pushed together. Four desks in a section. In my section was me, Zach, Justin and another jock, I didn't pay much attention to him. Clay was near me, and his seat was across from Hannah but they weren't in the same quad. Courtney and Sheri were in the same quad, but at the front of the classroom, me and the boys were towards the back, and Mrs. Bradley was reading the anonymous discussion notes.

The first one she read, someone said she had nice ankles, and then she pulled out a napkin from Monet's, which only reminded me that I didn't go meet up with Hannah. How much of an asshole am I? And to make it worse, I've been avoiding her because of it.

"What if the only way not to feel bad is to stop feeling anything at all, forever?" Mrs. Bradley read, and my eyes immediately went to Hannah, and I noticed that Zach's did too, but why was Zach looking at her? The reason I looked at her, is because that was written on a Monet's napkin and I know Hannah was there last night, and I didn't meet her there like I said I would.

"Wow. Okay, um. . This is serious. This is someone who is in a great deal of pain. Who would like to open up our discussion?" Mrs. Bradley asked and no one said anything. How do you approach that subject, when someone says something like that and I'm not going to call Hannah out in the middle of class.

"I think whoever wrote this, is just looking for attention." Courtney said, and I scoffed, loudly enough from the back that everyone turned to look at me.

"You have something to add, Miss Jensen?" Mrs. Bradley asked.

"Courtney, of course you would think that person is looking for attention, because everything you do is attention seeking." I snapped, and everyone started laughing. "Clearly this person is asking for help." I said.

"Okay, then why not sign their name?" Courtney asked.

"Because it's anonymous dumbass." I snapped back at her.

"Maybe it's just a joke, like someone's just fucking. . sorry. Messing with us." My boyfriend said from next to me, and I shook my head. People don't joke about feelings like that. I know last year, when I was feeling that way. I definitely wasn't joking.

"That's idiotic. It's not a joke." Skye said.

"How do you know, Skye?" The other jock at our quad said.

"Because who would joke about that?" She snapped back.

"Why don't you tell us, Skye. You see what it was written on? Don't you work at Monet's?" He asked.

"So? I don't have a monopoly over the napkins there, asshole." Skye snapped at him, and I guess that was when Mrs. Bradley had heard enough name calling.

"Okay, okay. Let's not call people out, alright?" She said.

"Whoever wrote it was in pain." Skye said.

"So what? They're in pain. I'm in pain. High school's painful, get over it." The same boy snapped, and I was about this close to snapping his arm in half.

"Are you fucking serious? You think high school being 'painful' is anywhere on the same scale of being in actual pain? Have you ever been in pain before? And I'm not talking about physical pain. I mean emotional pain. . mental pain, the feeling of where everything just sucks so much you don't see a silver lining of it getting better anytime soon. I don't think you've ever actually been in pain, or you wouldn't be sitting here talking like the inconsiderate asshole you are." I snapped.