Because Sometimes Opposites Attract - Draco Malfoy Fanfic

Chapter 26

When I got back to the common room, no one looked at me. A quick acknowledgement that I had just walked through the door but then everyone kept on doing what they were doing. Luna didn't invite me to sit with her, Cho didn't ask me to study with her because she was just looking over some notes. I saw it in everyone's face. They were disgusted with me. I looked around, my eyes scanning the people's faces to see if there was someone even looking at me. No one.  So I just sighed quietly and closed my eyes for a second, then I went up the stairs to the dorm which I had to myself now obviously. I changed into my pajamas and crawled underneath my blanket. Now I had nothing. I didn't have friends anymore, everyone thought I was the most disgusting piece of shit in the world. And I was used to that, my old school had made me get used to a lot. But it was a horrible feeling. When I had changed schools, I had hoped and then thought this feeling would go away. When I had found friends, everything had been better. But I had known that it would only be a matter of time until I would fuck it up with them too. And I had, I always managed to ruin the good things in my life somehow. It was awful, the feeling of knowing that now it was going to be exactly like it had been at my old school. But this time, it really was my own fault. I had such horror in front of my eyes, I was so scared. Tears were quietly streaming down my face, I felt helpless. I had been crying since everyone had seen us together outside.

And that led me to the next point. I didn't have Draco either. He wouldn't stand by my side and defend me and I hadn't expected him too either. The thing that was killing me was what he had told me. It really wasn't about me when you thought about it from his point of view. It was about him and that sounded like some lame excuse but I had seen in his eyes that he was scared and that he had meant it. He actually thought he wasn't good for me and what he had said about his family had made me think. Neville had told me that every Slytherin was bad on my first day here. But how bad were Draco and his family really and what kind of pressure was he under? Were they actually followers of You-Know-Who or just judgemental about muggles and muggle-borns? I couldn't figure it out and there was no one I could ask. That night I cried myself to sleep again.

When I entered the Great Hall the next morning, there was once again no one even looking at me. For an awful second, my heart burned in pain. I knew that feeling. Yesterday I had tried to talk to Neville but he had just ignored me and I couldn't blame him. I had hurt him and I was so sorry. How could I have done this to him? He had been my best friend. I had to hold myself back for not starting to cry in front of everybody when I thought about having lost him. I wanted him back, I wanted all my friends back. It had felt so good to know that there was someone to turn to, knowing that I wasn't alone. But now I was all alone again, completely alone.

The Slytherin table were looking at me. Every single person had their eyes on me, I felt even worse. They all had to think I was even weaker now. Just letting Draco get to me, they must've thought I was so easy and naive. And since what Draco and those other Slytherins had wasn't really friendship, he could easily lie and keep his pride and with it, all his "friends". But with my friends it was different, they felt betrayed, I hadn't told them and honestly, they never would have approved. 

I ate alone at the end of the Ravenclaw table but as soon as I was done and on my way out of the Great Hall, I saw Pansy and another Slytherin girl that I had actually used to like heading for me. "All by yourself, huh?" Emily asked. Pansy just laughed. "Did you really think that Draco liked you?" she asked with that vicious smile that I knew from Draco. I knew she was happy that it was over between me and him but she also must've felt jealous that someone like me that she thought so low of had gotten some from her crush and she hadn't. But the thought of her maybe having a shot with Draco now hurt me.

"Nice catch though, Baker, sad you couldn't keep it" Emily said, smiling that same smile that scared me about the Slytherins. My heart felt heavy. I needed to get out of here before I'd start crying in front of them. "Fuck off" I said but my voice sounded weak. "A little tip, when a guy says he likes you, he's gonna be lying just to get in your pants because he knows how easy you are" Pansy added and walked away with Emily, both laughing.

Outside of Potions class, no one paid attention to me either. I was glad there were no Slytherins but to be honest, standing in the middle of Ravenclaws and Gryffindors was even worse because it hurt more to know that they were judging me. I saw Neville and Georgia in the back, they stared at me but as if I was crazy. In their heads, everyone was probably laughing at me, thinking "Look, there's Sam, that naive girl that fell for Malfoy, how weak, serves her right that she's by herself now.". 

I had to force myself to keep a straight face and not burst out crying as I thought about this. It was the feeling I had told Draco about, the feeling that everyone was paying attention to you but not actually staring or laughing but thinking the worst possible things. It was killing me, I didn't even know how to put it into words. And I was so helpless, I had no idea what to do about it instead of just letting it happen.

I spotted Celine and Harry in the back too, he was leaning back against the wall with one arm around her waist, kissing her. They were both smiling, laughing about something only they understood. Then they kissed again. They looked like such a happy couple.

I couldn't help but imagine it was me and Draco. But that didn't seem right, we had never been like that nor would I have ever wanted to be like that. But I wished that it could've been like that. I really did and that's what was fucked up. I also wanted to go over to Celine and tell her how happy I was for her but of course, she wouldn't care.

Now that it was out, I would have continued but that was only because I had nothing to lose anymore. He had been given that choice of his image or me and it was obvious what he had picked.