A Part Of Me

XIV

RYDER'S POV
The bathroom door hit my ankle and I heard Luke yelling.

"Ryder!" I picked my head up and screamed.

I didn't want him to find out.

Not now.

Not next week.

Not ever.

This is more embarrassing than when I told him I teach pole dancing.

He held me.

"Are you okay? Was it too hot out there?" He asked.

I just sat there.

"Ryder?" He asked.

I felt no emotion whatsoever.

"Ryder. Come on say something." He said lightly shaking me.

"You're scaring me." He said.

I just started crying.

He held me closer.

"It's okay, Ry. You don't need to feel embarrassed. Everyone pukes." He said comforting me.

"No Luke. You don't understand." I cried.

"What don't I understand? We're human. We have gross body fluids." He said.

"I'm not sick. I'm not suffering from heatstroke. I didn't eat anything expired." I said making myself more upset.

"Then what's wrong?" He asked.

"I'm anorexic." I said.

"You're what?" He asked.

"I have anorexia and I've had it since I was twelve." I said.

"But why?" He asked.

"I never thought I was skinny or pretty enough. I always stalked models' social media looking at how perfect they are. I got upset one day and just purged. I also look at everyone else who models for Forever 21 and see them as competition. I don't want to lose my job." I explained.

"Ryder, you're beautiful. Not because of your body. But because of your personality. You shine brighter than the sun. That's why I love you. For you. Not your model face or body. You're beautiful and I want you to be healthy. Please promise me you'll stop." He said looking me in the eyes.

"I'll try." I whispered.

"No. You can do better. You will stop. Or I'm taking you to the hospital." He said.

"I promise I'll stop." I said.

"Good. Now clean up because as much as I'm in love with you, I don't want to kiss you with puke breath." He said helping me up.